I can't believe what's happened these last 4 days. On Thursday afternoon I was tearing my hair out and literally ready to ring the breeder and return Asha. I was sick of her jumping up to nose level and snapping her teeth at me; I was sick of her manic airborne writhing when I was trying to send my best calm energy her way. And worst of all, I was concerned to see how both my children - including, incredibly, balk-at-nothing Jody - were scared of going near her without the baby gate firmly shut inbetween. I could only picture futures with aggressive dogs and muzzles and a healthy distance needing to be maintained, and that wasn't for a second what I'd hoped for from our family pet. Along with the important criteria of having an eager running dog, I wanted a friendly biddable dog who would tolerate and enjoy the abuse thrown at it by the kids; I wanted this to be an experience for the kids in learning about responsibility and caring for another creature. I didn't want them to have to wear chainmail gauntlets in order to do that.

So on Thursday afternoon, after rather panicked (but useful) phonecalls to my parents and dog-experienced Nanna and Zoe, I placed a plea to my local dog trainer to come to my house by Friday to assess Asha and help me know if I was approaching her in the right way; and then to a local flat-coated retriever breeder who, I hoped, could give me some insight into the breed and whether Asha was indeed, exceptionally hyper and uncontrollable or not. I was also poised to ring Asha's breeder and exercise my right to return her with no questions asked within the 2-week period.

Fortunately, the two phonecalls served to reassure me that some dogs do need some extra authority before they listen and learn; that while many dogs loyally follow instruction, there are others which will escalate behaviour just to see what happens. Much of the feedback from each of the two experts indicated that although particularly boisterous and a little stubborn, Asha was totally normal in her behaviours and would just need a firm voice of discipline - and some extra time - in order to bring her into line.

And even better, the trainer was able to come for a 1.5 hour consultation on Friday afternoon.

But even by then (after a visit to the vet for final vaccinations and general check-up), Asha was starting to change. She was tangibly starting to listen to my instruction 80% of the time (instead of 10%), and respond in a predictable way. She seemed calmer and happier all round. So much so that I was laughing when the trainer arrived to find a very biddable friendly pup who barely once jumped up and bit!

It was a useful session nonetheless, mainly because the trainer was able to reassure me that I am approaching things in exactly the right way. She explained that there is never a miracle behavioural cure, and that consistency is the key. And she showed me some useful tips to limit Asha's naughtiness when it gets out of hand (particularly with the kids), without any kind of cruelty or frustration needing to emerge.

On Friday afternoon we had a problem of a different sort though, when Asha decided she was going to down her entire water bowl several times. Sadly input leads inevitably to output, so we were dealing from about 2pm with about 1 wee every 10 minutes (inside or out, depending on where she was at the time). Back to the vets it had to be, to eliminate a urinary tract infection before the weekend.

And then all weekend Asha seemingly changed into this loving, contented little animal; I've seen none of the frenzy she was demonstrating last week and not once have I felt the desire to leave her to simmer down in the back corridor.

I am completely convinced that she was just taking her sweet time to adjust to life in our household, away from the hustle and bustle of her litter and family. I think it's safe to say that she was entirely freaked out by the experience. I need to watch her development, but generally speaking I'm happy that we're all moving in the right direction.

The only significant problem still remaining is her toilet training which is absolutely impossible. In all the literature I read before bringing Asha home, there are ample statements about how straightforward it is to toilet train a pup if you do it the right way, and how naturally they have an inclination to keep their living environment clean. Well all I can say to that is bollocks! Asha doesn't mind wee-ing in her crate one little bit. Nor does she mind wee-ing right outside her crate or on any part of the floor she calls her own. There are no advance warnings either; the first we know of it is when she squats her little hindlegs and we have about a millisecond before the flood hits the floor. Plus with her inclination to over-drink (the vet gave her the all-clear, and I've since read online that puppies frequently drink too much), we are sometimes faced with periods of the day where she'll do a wee every few minutes when at other times she'll stay dry a few hours. It's all very exasperating but all I can do is continue the over-the-top positive affirmation when she gets it right in the garden, and the cool-as-a-cucumber silent cleaning duties that frequent my waking hours. And thank God we don't have a Shih tzu which reputedly never learn to toilet train at all!

On the bright side, after advice from the trainer I've adjusted my night-time ritual to get 6 hours of unbroken sleep; Roj lets Asha out at 11pm and I then get up at 4 to let her out (which after 3 nights of experimentation, is the point at which I've found she can't hold it any longer). It's then back to bed until 6 when I let her out again and get her food prepared. It sounds a bit gruelling but it's streets better than the 2am, 5am I was doing up until Thursday night, and the trainer says that for every dry night, I should get up 10 minutes later, with the eventual aim of getting her to sleep through the night. How much like having a baby does this sound!!?

Anyway with all this dog stuff going on, there's very little else to report. We had guests for the day on Saturday so my morning was spent running between back corridor with Dettox and a J-cloth, and the kitchen to check on my roast beef (don't trust a Salter meat thermometer; take 10 degrees off everything it tells you). I did a little craft project with Jody on Sunday morning while Roj took Miles to rugby (a possibility I've been looking forward to for ages as I get so little time with Jody on my own). The kids went to their regular swimming lesson as usual on Saturday morning, and otherwise we spent our time pottering in garden and house.

Which is the shape of things to come, I think, until Asha's behaviour and toilet manners improve.