In my many years of copious education I have never learnt how to handle rejection. Criticism I'm bad at, but rejection is just a no-no. So why on earth have I chosen to go freelance? The 'free' of freelance, I've decided means 'feel free to jump in and tell me how awful my work is.'

Can you guess that my new freelance project isn't going to plan? Yes, my designs got absolutely panned. And when I say panned I mean that he had nothing good to say about them at all. Not even thanks for the effort, not even "I quite like the way you've handled this, but ..." And to add insult to injury, he even wants me to use the designs that I implemented for his son's website 6 months ago. No changes (apart from the client name of course), just the same old thing.

I refused.

Ah well. Back to the drawing board.

On a more positive note I did drag my arse around the park this afternoon. My pace was over ten minutes per mile but I quite enjoyed it and my lungs didn't burn as much as I expected. It was absolutely glorious out there too. Mid-afternoon warm sunshine on leaves that still have a surprising amount of colour. Just the sort of day that I have to force myself not to think of leaving New York.

Tomorrow we're going to another Reel Moms thing at Loews, this time for Master and Commander. The first critic on IMDB doesn't think much of it, but apparently the reviews are quite good. Either way a cinema outing is such a rarity these days that it's bound to be enjoyable.

This weekend am also going to finish my purchases. I'm getting a little sick of spending money (don't worry - it won't last long!), and just want to finish up with all the mundane stuff leftover (HTML validation software and the like). Also I have a ton of work to do. I'm finishing up with the IA I've been procrastinating over, and I suppose I'm going to have to drum up a new design for this new client. In my defence, his brief was apallingly minimal, and it's very hard to do anything with nothing. Particularly for a novice like me.

Right. My poll has run for a week now, so I suppose I ought to shut it down. The results are disappointingly close with designbylara winning the field, lcreate 2nd and lerisai last. I haven't voted myself yet, and nor have I decided whether I'm happy to run with designbylara (in the light of today's events, maybe I should plump for shitedesignbylara?), so I might just lazily leave it up there a few more days in the hope that someone sends me a blinding new idea ...

It seems that SAD syndrome has hit everybody. My brother is annoyed that his form is not as self-evidently superhuman as it has been all year; Yi Shun has sounded depressed for at least a couple of blog entries, in part because of her lack of motivation for our 15k training (what she has clearly failed to notice is that I've been running once in three weeks. Which is worse than her record by a factor of, like, a million). The only person with some optimism, it seems, is Benjamin Wagner who is excited about his upcoming tour. And so he should be. I've just ordered his latest CD Almost Home cos it sounds pretty good from the mp3s. Very David Gray (I know, sorry, it's been said before).

Maybe it's the weather. New York has had an extended period of uncharacteristic grimness and I just know England has had the same. Or maybe it's just that those hours of daylight are so short right now you can almost blink and miss them.

I don't know. I'm feeling quite optimisitic. Still waiting for resolution on my freelance name poll (everything still pretty much equal), haven't heard from my recent client and haven't yet completed work necessary for a conference call on Friday, but otherwise things are good. Jody is being amazing - she is so giggly and talkative and happy that I feel utterly blessed. Went out to Brooklyn to see Colette and Thomas again today, and Thomas is a bit of a whinger. Not the worst I've seem by any stretch of the imagination, but he likes to be sitting on his mum. And he likes to feed for an hour at a time. Colette's doing really well with him, and is certainly looking like she's passed that difficult first stage. At least he smiles a lot inbetween whinges.

I suppose I'm also quite looking forward to going back to England. Got a removal man in tomorrow to give me a quote, so things are actually starting to happen. I just feel that now the decision is made, I want to get on with it. Elongated goodbyes are not my cup of tea. Talking of which I've nearly run out of decaf Sainsbury's Earl Grey. Crap.

Next week I'm off to visit Rowan for a couple of days in New Hampshire, including a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with her aunty and billions of relatives, which I'm very much looking forward to. Then Roj, Jody and I are off to Lake Placid for the following three days. It'll be nice to get out of the city and visit the Adirondacks. Particularly as we've been meaning to go ever since we moved here. Should be beautiful, whether there's snow or not.

That's about all there is to report. I will go running tomorrow or Friday, and I will get that outstanding work done. In the meantime I will enjoy what remaining time I have here. One month and counting ...

So far my freelance name poll has cleared things up absolutely not at all. I have four votes for two names, and three for the third. Meanwhile I've thought of a name I actually quite like and found that the domain is owned by a squatter who is willing to part with it for a mere $500. (A squatter masquerading as a legitimate company with an @aol email address ... I don't think so!) First they told me (in admirable English: "Your bid will be immediately accepted in the case if it will be higher than narrower those existing in our database") that any bid placed would win if it was the highest current bid. Next they told me that they had several bids around $500 so anything over that would win. Um ... does anyone else spot a contradiction there? It's not even what could possibly be thought of as a popular domain name.

Anyway I finally sent them a rather rude email telling them what I thought about domain squatters and reiterating my offer of $150. They haven't got back to me. Funny that.

Back to more important things: I heard this morning that Greg and Sally are now engaged, which is absolutely fantastic news. They're two lovely lovely people and I'm chuffed to bits that they're tying the knot.

And in more local news, we've finally (I say finally, but we're still 4 weeks in advance of the recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics) started feeding our little baby girl solids! I don't know who decided to call runny Ready Brek (rice cereal in breastmilk) 'solid', but apparently it officially comes under that umberella. It is a big step to real independence (for me or Jody, I'm not sure) and therefore very exciting. I was definitely expecting some vociferous complaints and at least one stony turned head, but in actual fact she lapped it up. Literally. While she hasn't exactly got spoon use down to a fine art (how could she? She's five months old and has used a spoon exactly three times in her life!), preferring to slurp at the contents rather than scoop them off with her mouth, the attempts (three so far) have been entirely successful. The plan is now to feed her one 'solid' feed per day, varying the type of cereal and thickening the mixture a little bit so that within four or five weeks she'll be on three 'solid' meals a day of various puréed vegetables, fruit and cereals. At this point the nursing that currently happens right after each feed should be able to be phased out at the lunchtime feed and replaced with fruit juice or water. Hooray!

It's actually amazing to watch her. She's now rolling around all over the place, attempting different acrobatic feats nearly every day, almost sitting up, starting to be responsive ("daddy don't take that toy away from me"), and eating with a spoon. What a different little girl than she was 2, 3, 4 months ago. Everybody always says "enjoy her, she'll grow up fast," and it's so damn true! I can't believe she's nearly half a year old already. It seems like a couple of weeks ago that we were bringing her back from the birth centre.

And just because I haven't raved about it recently, I have to admit that I am completely smitten by her. I am trying to do a thousand things every day but everything I do with her is the absolute highlight. Every grouchy irrational screaming moment, every dirty nappy and spitup on clothes I've just changed into is a hundred times worth it for that big wide toothless grin I get when she sees that I'm looking at her. Honestly ... it changes your world.

A plea to my readership for help:

I've been working freelance for quite a while now and the time has come for me to set up a website and have some sort of official 'presence'. Like it or not, this is a necessary step. One can't profess to build websites, after all, without owning a website oneself!

Unfortunately, a laborious trawl through available URLs has come up somewhat short of trumps. I confess I've been doing this for an awfully long time, so I may have numbed my own brain. Whatever my excuse, I am, in desperation, turning to you for help.

I have set up a very short poll with the three names most under consideration and ample room for your own suggestions. I appeal to you for enlightenment!

I'd like the name to reflect a degree of seriousness (work so far has been for quite corporate serious businesses), and not be too pretentious or 90s Internet. If you know what I mean.

p.s. I'm well aware that I'm setting myself up for all sorts of mischief here, but I'm a trusting soul. I just reserve the right to ignore any or all replies. But honestly ... I'd appreciate your help here!

Now that it's been officially mentioned by those directly involved, I can voice my sympathy on the death of Cozai. The company was formed 2.5 years ago by many of my ex-colleagues and friends from the Bluewave days. In that time, it has clearly done well enough to sustain consistent repeat business from a number of happy customers (a feat in itself), but eventually suffered at the hands of a poor and untrusting economy. It's an enormous shame to see the end of Cozai and I really feel for all those involved who are now having to seek alternative employment in an unsympathetic market. What I can say without a shadow of a doubt though, is that it did not fail for lack of talent, effort or commitment.

Meanwhile I consider myself enormously lucky to have enough work to continue ticking over. I'm only working part-time and sometimes not even that, but since Jody is more than a full-time job, that suits me fine. Yesterday she actually slept or played happily for much of the day and I managed several hours of work, which puts me in a very good position for not having to work all 48 hours this weekend!

Some heavy winds have finally blown away the depressing weather from NYC. It's been almost English the last few days but now we're back to a more customary crisp sunny brightness. Who knows, I might even get my arse round the park in the next day or so!

And plans are continuing apace for our trip to Australia and New Zealand. We're planning on 5 days in Sydney followed by 20 in NZ. We'll fly into Christchurch and hire a winnebago to do a circle of the South Island, then we'll swap the tent-on-wheels for a rental car and make our way (slowly and with much sight-seeing) via the whale-watching and shark-feeding in Wellington on up to Aukland where we fly back out to Heathrow. Very exciting.

This afternoon we have a mummy & baby music class with Jennifer and Ethan. Don't know what's involved yet and I hope it doesn't involve me having to do anything, but it should be interesting and it will get us out of the house. Not much planned for this weekend other than a lot of work. Presentations due on Tuesday (designs for new site) and Wednesday (next stage of IA for ongoing project). Must start running or I won't be able to do a marathon no matter what.

I should be working. But I haven't even had time for a shower today so I don't feel too bad in taking 10 minutes to update this before I make a start. Jody has just dozed off after being a little demanding (but lovely!) for the day so far.

My new laptop is on its way. Hooray. Dell are doing something right this time (Rowan recently had a hideous experience with them so I was keeping fingers crossed). Lets hope it's fully functional when it gets here. It sounds awfully like I'm buying a lot of new toys right now doesn't it? I suppose I am - partly to take advantage of cheaper prices for things I know I need. The crappy side of that is that I'm running out of money. Luckily I've just had that small project confirmed, which should top up my bank account for a while. Not so lucky that the rest of my work has now just come in too, which means I need to be working 24/7 for the next week. Gah.

Lovely seeing the good folks of the NYARA board last night, if only for a short while. Haven't seen some of them since well before June, so it must have been a shock for some to see this whopping great baby on the outside of my tummy instead of the inside. Will definitely miss them all when we go back ...

Also lovely seeing Sophie on Monday. She's actually nearer 27 weeks now, and looking glowingly fab. Always very nice catching up with her, and made me look forward to seeing more of her and Kate with their respective babies when I get back to the UK. Jody was a little impatient for the duration, but her big cheeky grin meant she got away with it!

Dinner with Jen, Dagny and Amy was postponed due to Jen's flu, and I was quite relieved in the end, since I'd already been out for most of the day. Trouble is the next date we can all get together is seemingly in late December which means that if that falls through I don't stand much chance of catching up at all. That's the way it's seemed to be since End Of Bluewave ... all the best intentions with no following through.

In fact I'm thinking about setting up some kind of goodbye drinks in mid-December. There are so many people I want to see before we go that the only way we'll manage it is if we kill all the birds with one stone. Finding a venue that's not booked up for Christmas drinks might be another matter. Will have to put my thinking cap on.

Right ... back to this work lark. Creating a look and feel without any kind of acknowledged theme - my favourite.

... Ah ... and that'll be the baby crying ...

Is it already Sunday? Gah.

Jody has a cold. She caught it off Roj who has been spluttering and snorting since we got back from Vegas. I've been feeling it lurking at the back of my nose, but not admitting it in the hope that it might go away. If it does materialise, I might be as grouchy as Jody's been today (crying at every occasion, and why shouldn't she?), but at least it'll give me a good excuse not to go running, because so far I can only find bad ones. In fact I've decided that a marathon is a very bad idea which is almost a concrete guarantee, wouldn't you say, that I will be awarded a place in the London Marathon next April. Gah.

The reason it's a bad idea is partly that I'm not motivated enough, partly that I really don't think I have the time to dedicate to achieving that level of fitness (right now), but mostly that I haven't the heart to take Jody out in the jogger when the temperatures are sub-zero. I get accused of being a bad mother enough when it's lingering in the tens (centigrade), so goodness knows what the mother-police will say when my poor little baby (in 15 layers of fleece I might add) is subjected to zero. They have a point though. It's chilly enough to be running in that weather, let alone just sitting there being pushed into the wind.

I bought a new lens this weekend. I'd better get that new little job methinks because my cash is rapidly diminishing. Luckily this is all part of the grand plan (may as well make the most of American prices before we leave forever). I did, nevertheless, have the wisdom to forgo the pleasure of the 300mm f4 telephoto costing well over a grand. I plumped instead for the modest (ahem) 100mm macro at under half that. It's a blimmin lovely lens, I have to say ... although it'll definitely take me a while to get used to a prime when all I've used in the last few years are zooms. Looking forward to the learning process though.

Also had a very nasty customer service experience on Macy's 7th floor when hoping to take over a fitting room for the purpose of nursing Jody. Silly old bat at the door refused to let me in (no chair, no room, no chance mate), and when I objected (on the grounds that many women coming into Macy's infant clothes department to spend much money surely need access to somewhere in which to feed their screaming tots - this point made infinitely clearer by Jody bellowing her agreement) became very rude and refused twice to fetch me the manager (to whom I wanted to complain about her lack of sympathy). Macy's will be swiftly in receipt of irate complaint about the unbelievable manners of one Sarah Anastasio. I don't think I've ever encountered worse.

Much more enjoyable was my day out in Connecticut on Friday with Bern, who has just returned from a very impressive 1000 mile bike ride down to Florida. Lovely walk in very posh Greenwich park and plenty of food and gossip.

Also on the 'enjoyable' list - our Reel Moms experience on Saturday morning. Reel Moms has been the saviour of all movie-buff mummies on Tuesday mornings for some time (though I hadn't been yet), and on Friday evening I received an email to say that they were starting showings on Saturdays too (to include all those reel daddies). So off we went to Loews 34th Street to watch Matrix Revolutions which was not as crap as the second one, very crap indeed but wonderful since it's the first time I've sat in a cinema with popcorn and m&m's for nearly 6 months. Bliss. Funnily enough the tardiness of the Reel Moms email meant that Roj and Jody and I were half of the whole audience. An experience in itself in New York City, the 10am showtime notwithstanding.

This week will be busy, particularly tomorrow. Yoga in the morning, followed by coffee with Jennifer and Ethan (who is eating real food - woohoo!), then lunch in Soho with Sophie who is over for the New York Print Fair and now 23 months pregnant (having tragically lost her first pregnancy very late on nearly two years ago now). Then dinner with Jen, Dagny and Amy (if we manage to pull it off). Later in the week am also doing a Music Together Music Class with Jennifer and Ethan again, as well as seeing Jennifer (pregnant-gym-buddy) and her daughter Sophie again. And I think there's a NYARA board meeting to fit in there somewhere as well as, hopefully, this new little project and the rather uglier reappearance of the ongoing one.

Then last but not least, the dreaded lists are beginning of things that need doing before our return to the UK in six weeks. Six weeks. And if you think that means my day-to-day to-do-list is diminishing in any way whatsoever, THINK AGAIN!!

Lots to report again. Partly due to my slack blogging I suppose. Wednesday was a day of work (mainly), which put me nicely up to date on all projects (including the new one which may still not happen). Thursday morning I finally got my crown safely installed by the creepy dentist. I was hoping that would be our last ever meeting but I think there's a billimeter of ceramic (or whatever it is) that needs shaving off. Sigh.

Thursday afternoon Greg and Sally came to visit. It was rather brief since they were only over for 2 days, but it was absolutely fantastic to see them. They're both on excellent form, looking brilliant and enjoying Sydney enormously. They were also both quite taken with Jody despite the gruesome postpartum stories they asked me to tell. Can't wait to visit them on their side of the world in January.

Friday morning we got up early to catch our flight to Vegas. Luckily Roj rang Continental the day before and secured us the bulkhead. Jody was mixed - good for most of the time and rather monstrous for about half an hour. Whether it's the cabin pressure or the confined nature of the aeroplane I don't know, but eventually to our relief she dozed off until landing. We went straight to our rental car from the airport and headed out to Grand Canyon via the Hoover Dam (which was very hot, but not overly impressive, other than to see the 30-feet or so of exposed rock above the water line showing how low the water currently is). The drive out to the Canyon was around 275 miles, so quite a hike, particularly on those unbelievable dead-straight Southwestern roads. We stopped at a rather odd steakhouse on the way out for some phenomenal steak but below-average everything else. And finally we got to GC and installed ourselves in our hotel lodge room at around 8:30pm (Arizona time).

The next morning I woke at 5:15 to realise that Jody hadn't woken for a feed during the night. 9 hours! Fantastic! We decided to take advantage of being awake by getting out to the Canyon rim to watch the sunrise before breakfast which we duly did. It was bitterly cold outside and we were disappointed to find that there was complete cloud cover, but we made our way out to Yaki Point (which we had to ourselves) in time to see glimmers of sun on parts of the Canyon anyway. It was quite a view looking over the south rim for the first time. Photos and pictures in books and magazines just don't give you the scale of the thing. We were a little disappointed at the very hazy light conditions that morning (particularly me, wielding my 10d with great hope), but impressed at the vastness of the place anyway. And rather awed by the rim trail which goes within just a couple of feet of the edge at times. And it's not like it's a nice gentle gradient giving way to the Canyon either. It really is a sheer vertical drop of several hundred feet before any gentle gradients (and they're rare anyway) come into play.

We headed back for a buffet breakfast at the dodgy hotel café (a la Little Chef) before deciding to do a short hike down the Kaibab Trail into the Canyon. We bundled ourselves and Jody up, put her in the Baby Bjorn and set off mid-morning. The trail was good fun apart from inevitable arguments ensuing from me yelling at Roj to get back from the edge while he had my baby attached to his front! The Kaibab Trail is well maintained by the National Park Service, and undertaken by mules on a regular basis so it wasn't overly hairy, but the drop was certainly precipitous enough to induce waves of adrenalin. We made it down to our intended destination Cedar Point which is just 1.5 miles and 1000ft (of 5000) into the Canyon. We spent a few minutes absorbing the views and taking photos at Cedar Point plateau and then headed back up to the rim. Lots of comments from people on Jody's adventurous nature (despite the fact that she was asleep for much of the downward trip) and her blazing red cheeks (from freezing cold wind and rubbing from the sodden chewed Baby Bjorn). The climb was neither as long nor as hard as I anticipated (despite the 7000ft altitude at the southern rim), and we made it up in a little under an hour. We then headed off to the GC village for another dodgy meal at Bright Angel Restaurant (where Jody was rather stroppy). I made the mistake of buying Over the Edge, Death in Grand Canyon, a book chronicling the 600-or-so recorded deaths in GC history. I, like most people, am morbidly fascinated to hear about falls over the rim, and silly hikers believing they can hike the whole Canyon in a single day in midsummer heat, but had I realised that I would spend 2 hours that night unable to sleep because of dreams of falling, I might have reconsidered the purchase!

After lunch we decided to head out to Hermit's Rest on the bus, stopping at viewpoints on the way over and eventually making it back to Hopi Point for sunset. Unfortunately during this trip Jody (who hadn't eaten well all day) decided she wasn't having any of it and had possibly the worst strop either of us have seen since her 'I hate the carseat' days. It was very difficult to calm her down and involved a lot of patience and bundling her up inside my down jacket. We managed to ruin the peaceful countryside for several people (and probably get our parental competence quietly questioned) on the way back from Hermit's Rest both in the bus and outside, before she finally dozed off. Can't really blame her though - she'd literally been in the Baby Bjorn and outside in chilly conditions all day long. The two of us were pretty exhausted by the time we got back (to yet more dodgy food at the hotel café), let alone her. On top of which she had to pose for two different sets of Japanese tourists as they had me take photos of them alongside her and Roj. These tourists are crazy!!

Sunday morning we had already decided to head off to Vegas early to get there in time to see the place. We said our goodbyes to the Canyon and settled in for the long drive (which Jody slept most of). We dropped the rental car off at the airport and caught a bus to Caesar's Palace where we were happily upgraded to a better room (on the 25th floor) with a view of the Bellagio fountain and the most enormous jacuzzi tub I have ever seen.

We had an enjoyable lunch at the hotel and then headed off for the rest of the afternoon to explore the strip, with the ultimate aim of seeing Mandalay Bay's shark reef. Unfortunately when we finally got there, it was half an hour after the reef shut for a private function so we retired to Starbucks and contemplated our options. In the end we spent the whole afternoon and early evening taking in the Vegas atmosphere and wandering from hotel to hotel to assess the themes. We saw lions at the MGM Grand, parrots at Mandalay Bay, trumpeteers at Excalibur, but the most impressive sight was definitely the Venetian. We'd actually seen a TV program on the building of this hotel, so perhaps the effort was more appreciated, but the end result was definitely impressive. It was dark outside but the 'streets' inside the hotel were lit in simulated daylight with blue skies and fluffy white clouds above. There were squares with sculptures and fountains where you could dine 'outside'; the shops lined paved 'streets' and throughout all, crews sang Italian to loving couples in gondolas along the simulated Grand Canal. It was truly an amazing sight. False of course, and slightly bizarre, but definitely spectacular.

Finally we headed back to Caesar's Palace where we relaxed in the substantial comfort of our hotel room while Jody dozed off (for another 9.5 hour sleep as it happens). Not being great gamblers or drinkers, we instead took advantage of all the luxuries on offer - room service (excellent), chocolate-coated strawberries, and a baking hot jacuzzi with overflowing bubbles. Wonderfully relaxing.

The next day we had a yummy buffet breakfast at the hotel's Café Lago and headed off to Abercrombie & Fitch in the Forum shops for extensive jean purchasing. Finally it was time to head back home. The bulkhead seats were unfortunately unavailable, so Roj gave me and Jody his upgrade and sat in coach himself. Jody didn't like first class at all. She woke from deep sleep at the first announcement (even before takeoff) and serenaded the whole first class cabin for the next half hour or so. Eventually (by the time we finally reached cruising altitude), she was so noisy and grizzly I took her back to the coach galley where Roj and I did our best to calm her down from tantrum pitch. Finally she gave in to the sleep monster and I was able to make it back to my big leather seat next to extremely grumpy man in (fortunately) headphones. Extremely grumpy man complained about virtually everything on the flight, from the aircon to the movie, but luckily (for him) didn't have the gall to complain about the baby screaming next to him.

We didn't get back til 10pm NY time last night, and virtually made it straight to bed. It was a fantastic weekend and we're both very pleased that Grand Canyon and Vegas can now be ticked off the list. Never mind that I'm determined to go back one day (to GC anyway), to hike the full route. And I think Roj might be further tempted by the rafting down there, although wild horses won't get me through the 10' standing waves on an inflatable dingy!

So back to NY - where the weather is wet and foggy and the leaves seemed to have turned overnight. Looking forward to hear how friends fared at the NY marathon on Sunday (sounds like Benjamin Wagner did exactly what I did at Dallas 2 years ago), and expecting work to keep on piling up, but otherwise looking forward to our next trip out which'll be to the Adirondacks (via New Hampshire - possibly for Thanksgiving) in late November. Only 7 weeks now til we fly out to the UK, and so much to do ...