One of those awful things happened yesterday which leaves you wondering what your life would have become if things had been only slightly different. I was changing Miles's nappy on the mat on Jody's bedroom floor and when she got bored of helping, Jody got up and started fiddling about with her Like-a-bike which was propped, as it always is, against her wall. In a split second while I was involved with the nappy end, the bike fell over and the handlebars grazed the side of Miles's head at his temple. If it touched him it didn't leave a mark, so he whimpered probably at the shock of an unknown object coming at him with such force. If he'd have been an inch further over though, it would have certainly taken his eye out if not bored a hole the size of a 10p piece in his skull. I was still upset about it at bedtime. These things happen so infrequently yet they serve to remind you forcibly of the vulnerability of your children. Suddenly the responsibility of caring for two small human beings who are utterly dependent for their lives on not only your unwavering competence but also a lack of random lethal events becomes burdensome. I wondered for a long time what would have happened if things had gone wrong like they so easily could have. I envisaged screaming 999 calls and futile trips to the emergency room. And I imagined, horribly, a life without one of the most important things it contains. It's morbid, sure, and perhaps I should have ignored it and just thanked God for the little miracle. But all I could do was focus on how fragile everything is and how fortunate we are, really, to ever get to adulthood at all.

On another depressing note, the sale of our flat has once again fallen through a week after we accepted the second offer. We are now starting to consider exactly what to do if we don't get another one in the remaining two months before we wave goodbye to our sizeable deposit. Three options really. We either walk away and sob at money ill spent (and repeat the whole awful process when the market picks up again in spring); we lower the price of the flat (again) to try and lure a quick sale (no guarantees there); or we collect every tiny penny we have and borrow a huge amount more in order to rent this flat while we purchase and live in Montagu Square. Which is horribly rash if the property market is to do anything but upturn in the next few years and would leave us little money to live on in the interim. Not the best set of options I've been presented with.

I've had a lovely 24 hours though - good chats with good mum friends including a long morning spent at Sonia's today. Sonia and family have decided to join us in the Dordogne in September for 5 (of the 12) days which I'm very excited about. Great to have friends who can do things at the drop of a hat rather than having to consider and inevitably back out because somethingorother is too difficult (the English approach, and one which we too have been guilty of from time to time).

Am very much looking forward to visit Camilla on Sunday for the first time in ages. Nothing much planned tomorrow (other than flat-viewing avoidance at midday), but I'm sure something'll crop up. I was planning on doing a run earlier in the week but I'm so knackered from the growth spurt Miles is doing (cos he needed to do some growing!) that I might shelve that idea in favour of a lie-in.

I neglected to mention that Miles has done a couple of 10-hour stints between feeds of late. Unfortunately they've never started later than about 6pm so I'm still getting woken in the early hours, but it's nice to have the break (and not to feel too guilty if I have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner!) In fact his whole routine has become somewhat predictable (famous last words), involving a long nap in the morning and afternoon and fairly regular feeding times throughout each 24 hour period. He's even going to sleep just before Jody's dinnertime which makes life (and her bedtime routine) very easy indeed, although not if it means he wakes up at 5:20 like he did today.

I also neglected to mention that we've accepted another offer on our flat. A bit lower than the last one but not far off our acceptable price limit. And on the bright side it comes from a man who viewed the flat when we were still employing only one agency, so we don't have to pay the higher joint fee. This is particularly good because I don't like the second agency. They put in one week of effort and overconfident comments and brought us no viewings since, so I'm glad to be able to deprive them of their fee! (Not entirely, because they're selling us the flat on Montagu Square). The [other] agent is optimistic that exchange can occur within 3 weeks, so we should be able to complete sometime after our mid-September holiday and move in before winter. I know it's a whole season late but it's better late than never. Though of course I'm not counting any chickens after what happened last time.

I've put Jody in a local nursery this morning, which I found out about from another Montessori mum. It's very nearby and opens to community residents when its normal University patrons have gone home for the summer. It doesn't offer any kind of structured program but they've got enough activities to make our flat look like a prison cell. Plus a couple of Jody's good friends will be going along so there are some familiar faces. I'm only intending on two sessions per week to give me a break and the chance to catch up with other things. Today, for instance, I fully intend on an hour's sleep when I drag myself away from my computer (and before the caffeine kicks in or Miles wakes up or both).

All is quiet and sleepy in Lara's Kids' Land. Nothing like a holiday to wear them out. We came back last night after an interesting 10 hour ferry trip which was, to be fair, the only properly testing time of the whole trip. Jody slept for about 1 hour (it took 45 minutes parading her past the cabins in the squeaky buggy before she'd succumb) and spent the rest of the time exploring the entire ship at full pelt. People must have been sniggering under their breaths as she would zip past yet again with Roj hot on her heels. "There goes that toddler again," one elderly couple were heard to comment as Roj went past, "and with no shoes on!"

Miles wasn't at his best either. I think it's early teething that's making him disrupted these last couple of days but his feeding, sleeping and waking is a little fitful which tends to reflect on mine. A couple of times on the ferry we had both youngsters bawling their eyes out simultaneously, which made all the other parents jealous I'm sure. A nearby mum took pity at one point and attempted to get Jody interested in singing nursery rhymes with her two boys. Worked for about 3 minutes before Jody was off again. The children's entertainers did marginally better with their balloon animals but two 15 minute sessions hardly dented the overall time. Still, it was better than containing her on a long-haul flight so we can't complain too much.

The trip in general was fantastic. We arrived to a depressingly rainy early afternoon on Monday (after sleeping through the outward night ferry trip) but escaped it by spending several hours in the nearest hypermarket (can't say supermarket as you could have easily bought a kitchen sink there from a vast selection). Stocked up on saucisson, stinky cheese and Brittany crepes then made it back to our mobile home (admirably pristine) in time to keep Jody on English time for dinner and bedtime. The following three days we had sunny mornings and afternoons with cloud cover over lunch giving us a break from the ravaging sun. All but the last day there was also some breeze to freshen things up which kept the mobile home from baking. We were in an excellent end-plot which meant we never had to contend with a stream of campsite traffic (nor multiple escape routes for Jody), and it didn't matter that we were furthest from the base since the only time we used that was to access the swimming pool complex with Jody a couple of times - something she absolutely loved if only to prove her utter fearlessness.

The nearby town of Bénodet was very pretty and had enough seafront restaurants to keep us happily in moules and crepes for lunch, and the campsite itself - though overrun with British and Netherland tourists - wasn't as Butlins as I expected. I was quite disappointed that the kids clubs and Tumble Tots sessions that I'd chosen the campsite on the basis of had closed for the peak season (letter of complaint to follow) but for our 4 days the beaches, the nearby town, the amazing swimming pool complex and the kids playground provided adequate entertainment. For those with youngsters I would highly recommend it. For those without I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

Now back I am finally - after nearly a year of laptop issues - installing the new hard drive which Rowan was kind enough to procure from Dell Hell US. All is going to plan, though the install process is set to take about 12 hours. A 'relaxing' weekend ahead of us with a billion piles of washing to get through along with rain-avoidance indoor toddler entertainment. Next week will not be so relaxing as I hold my breath every morning while Roj ventures to work on the Tube. We're supposed to make a determined effort to carry on with our lives as normal aren't we, and rise above the fact that suicide bombers are threatening our safety. Easier said than done when your imagination is a little too active.

For the second time in two days both babies are asleep in their beds. And I don't know what to do with myself! Jody has been so worn out in this heat (and with my new policy of getting her to walk everywhere) that I just decided to put her in bed and see what happened. I never expected success!

I've just booked us a holiday to the Atlantic coast of Brittany next week. Roj has an impromptu week off due to working so hard in recent months, and we decided - since we're on the south coast visiting friends at the weekend anyway - to make the most of it and skip across to France. Initially I was thinking of camping but we've booked into a Butlins-type Euro camping ground (sounds hideous right?) with water park, copious toddler activities and only yards from the nearest beach. Excellent.

We received another offer on the flat this week while I was in Shropshire but it was a bit low (though near enough to seem promising) and we haven't heard back from them which is a bit disappointing. It'll be particularly nice to leave this place next week and keep fingers crossed that something will happen while we're away. At least we'll be able to escape the perpetual clean up and reminder that we have too much cash riding on a speedy sale.

Really enjoyed the long weekend away in Cheshire/Shropshire. Too much champagne (sorry Miles!) over a yummy barbeque on Saturday to celebrate Roj's birthday. A fleeting visit to Maggie & Zoe's (with compulsory and much-loved shetland pony ride for Jody) on Sunday and then a relaxing couple of days with my folks while Roj did business in Philadelphia. Shame I had to make the 3.5 hour journey back to London alone, but it all worked out OK and I was in bed by midnight or so.

Sadly it was the last Friday toddler group today until mid-September. Lots of alternative plans will need to be made for the summer. Debating whether to sign Jody up for time at the Westminster University nursery over the holidays. On the one hand it would be nice to have the break, on the other it would be nice to have the flexibility to do what we want every day. If I leave it too late I guess the decision will be made for me!

Right. Better capitalise on this valuable break by packing or something!

Crap stuff going on in London today. I'm not exactly surprised - I've always thought the Tube was an easy target - but I am of course horrified. Heart skipped a beat this morning when I tried to contact Roj and got several strange messages on my phone. Turned out to be network issues thank goodness - he got to work early enough to avoid even being inconvenienced. Had faintly suspected that something was awry when driving to the gym against a river of emergency service vehicles. Got back to a long list of emails from people checking all was fine which was not the only thing that reminded me of a certain September day in New York nearly 4 years ago. Picked Jody up from nursery at 1:30 and saw the whole of the Edgware Road area cordoned off. Wondered how long it will be before things - people and this city's transport system primarily - return to normal. Many months I suspect. Am selfishly relieved that once again, in the face of a major terrorist attack close by, I know no-one who has been killed or directly affected. I feel for those who do.

What an appalling dampener on yesterday's Olympic bid victory. All so horribly well timed.

Though I berate the fact that other people go on about Miles's size, I reserve the right to do so myself. I calculate that if Miles sticks to his current percentile he will end up being 6' 7". And Jody will be about 6' 2". Yes at 6' and 6' 3" Roj and I will be dwarfed by our own kids. It's hardly surprising given the genes in the family (my dad is 6' 6" and my 3 male cousins on my mother's side are substantially taller than Roj) but impressive nonetheless.

Was messed around by the doctors on Monday when I went for Miles's second set of injections. They sent through a computerised slip of paper with appointment time but when I turned up on time, they denied the fact that I had an appointment and accused me of missing one the previous week. Not having brought along the piece of paper I could only weakly deny their accusations and make an appointment in a fortnight. Being only 2 minutes' walk from the surgery though, I hopped home, found the piece of paper which confirmed my appointment, and returned to the surgery triumphant. All this would have been fine were it not for the maneuvering required to get into the surgery in the first place. 5 or 6 steep steps outside, 2 doors and several sets of further steps. At one point I need to balance the double buggy halfway down 5 steps, reach forward with one hand and prop open a door while getting the buggy down the remaining steps and through the door. All this when it's hard enough getting up and down steps with both hands on the handles. Never mind the fact that Jody and Miles were both whingeing by the second time around, Miles because he'd just received some needles in the legs, Jody because she'd skipped her nap and didn't want to be in the buggy. By the end of it I was sweaty, exhausted and annoyed. Had to go to the sandpit to cool off (and got my cooling off comeuppance in a rainstorm on the way back). Gah.

Have been playing flat-avoidance for most of the week due to multiple viewings each day (none today mind you, but I don't discover this until the end of the day when I haven't had any calls from the agents). This is all very well except I usually find myself spending money somewhere, added to which the weather is abysmal right now and I keep forgetting my raincoat. Nevertheless spent a very enjoyable afternoon yesterday with Sonia, Caitlin and Olivia. Always nicer to share your misery with someone else over tea and biscuits!

Miles had his first ride facing forward in the Baby Bjorn today and it wore him out so much that he slept in the afternoon, despite having already napped this morning. It's easier to carry him that way round though, somehow. We went to review the flat we are hoping to purchase in order to decide whether to pay a deposit to the vendor to keep it off the market another 3 months. We would lose the deposit if we don't sell our own flat in that time, which is a little scary given the oh-so-promising sale that just fell through. But we both like the flat a lot (though we discovered that it needs more cosmetic renovation than we first thought) and are loathed to let it go. Undecided but I think we're erring on the side of the foolish handover of too much cash.

Jody has turned affectionate these last few days. Granted she's always had flashes of affection but she's usually too busy to bother. Nowadays she's turned to spontaneous displays of affection like kisses and hugs, and just comes up to me to stroke my face from time to time. Totally wonderful. She's the same towards Miles too. I do hope it stays that way.

Made a concerted effort on Friday to spend every spare minute with Jody, not just carting her around in the buggy but playing with her and making sure she was stimulated. Been feeling a bit recently that I'm not focusing enough on her because when Miles goes down for a nap I'm so exhausted that I often make excuses and get on with something easier. The extra attention certainly paid off though, because none of her awful habits reared their ugly heads (throwing, shouting and so on), and she was a happy lovely girl all day despite a lack of nap that would usually turn her into a little monster. I'm not taking any credit because it's what I should have been doing all along, but I've been lenient on myself while I've got used to dealing with two. Now I've decided that at 3 months that period of leniency has to stop and I'm re-prioritising. I'm not going to spend every second with Jody because it's unfeasible and she needs independent play too, but I'm going to get the balance back.

Had a lovely weekend, if a bit exhausting. Braved the awful sales crowds to spend a rare couple of hours on my own on Saturday morning doing a bit of shopping, then went off to Kensington Gardens to wish Caitlin a happy 2nd birthday. Very much enjoyed the party (Live 8 background music creating extra atmosphere) despite Roj having been called away for a business meeting at the last minute (taking up more than 6 hours of the day). Copious champagne and the fact that Miles lay in his buggy for nearly two hours happily sucking his thumb (new obsession) helped!

Saturday Miles did another 7-hour stint without feeding (from 7:30pm) which is the first time for a fortnight and reassures me that he might start doing longer stints more often. He's certainly robust enough to cope with some longer breaks, since he is now - at 3 months - wearing 6 month old clothes (and some even bigger). Everybody comments on how enormous he is and how much hair he has. True enough but it's sort of like saying that Bush is a bit of an idiot, or that Australia's quite far away.

He's really started to be responsive in the last couple of weeks. As well as grinning like a cheshire cat at the slightest provocation, he also coos and gurgles like anything when you take the time to have a conversation with him and will focus on you devotedly for the duration. Oversized and hirsute or no, I defy anyone to walk away with unmelted heart!

Today we spent the day down in Winchester with Will, Pippa, Rosie (2.5 yrs), May (1 mth), Chris, Mayana, Madeleine (4 yrs) and Emilou (2 yrs) to see the Hat Fair and partake of a very enjoyable lunch. Always nice to get out of London and visit other people with small toddlers who understand the issues arising. Both of ours were reasonably well behaved apart from short periods of over-tiredness when they both took to whingeing. Nice day though, all things considered.

We have now signed our property over to an additional agency as we heard towards the end of last week that our buyers had definitely withdrawn. The second agency is the one handling the sale of the flat we wish to purchase, so have double incentive to get ours sold and earn the commission on both sides. We've put it on at a marginally cheaper price than previously, but the amount we will accept remains unchanged. Am really hoping for a speedy result on this one, not least because I can't bear the thought of viewings all through summer.

Lots to do next week starting with gym (me) and injections (Miles's) tomorrow. Jody's nursery term finishes on Thursday too, so I'm going to have to brave the summer without that crutch. Luckily I have been pointed in the direction of a nearby substitute which I might make use of for a couple of mornings a week. The break it affords me is still very precious.