Wednesday, September 28, 2005
A couple of minor scares this week. First I lost my engagement ring on Sunday. I found it again after a couple of hours of searching but it was pretty traumatic for a while, wondering whether it had come off somewhere during unpacking or when I was out fetching fish and chips the night before.
Then on Monday evening I got a message on the answer phone from our solicitor to say that due to a change in personal circumstance the vendor of the Montagu Square flat had withdrawn from the sale and we would be refunded our deposit forthwith. Dammit. After 6 months of to-ing and fro-ing and putting up with everything going wrong that possibly could.
Fortunately the next morning I was reassured by the agent that she had convinced the vendor (who had had an emotional reaction to an accident in the family) to wait a few days before making any irrational decisions. Of course this still might mean that the whole thing's off, but we won't know for sure until the end of this week at the earliest.
Meanwhile I'm struggling a little without Roj being around. Last time he was away, Miles was so amenable that I could just involve him in Jody's routine and he would happily go along with it. In the last 24 hours it appears he's had a stomach ache, some painful gums or some unidentified ailment which has meant that he won't be left to his own devices (by which I mean in a chair, on a bed or elsewhere) without vociferous objection. Which has meant in turn that I've achieved practically nothing today (outside of 24-hour childcare that is) and that I am now dead on my feet.
On the bright side, the last 2 nights I've got him down from 1.5-hourly feeds to 3-hourly feeds for most of the night (he lapses in the waking hours) which has meant marginally more sleep for me.
I'm still utterly frazzled though. I was even, in desperation, looking at anger management websites on Monday until an elucidating conversation with Yi Shun made me realise that it's more likely to be stress at the root of the problem; anger (or rather, a fraying temper) being more of a symptom than a cause.
Still, it's difficult to feel so out of control. I am a control freak, no doubt about it, and not being in control over every facet of my day is something I find quite disturbing. I wish I was one of those people who could relax and not worry that impromptu spitups and nappy changes and Jody emptying her toybin 30 seconds before we leave the house will make us late for nursery but I'm just not. I need to work on that.
And I need to ignore the demoralising feeling I get when reading my to-do list which contains items still undone from the conception of the list. For every one item crossed off I create 15 more. Those programs on telly about how to organise your house and de-clutter your cupboards and sterilize your environment ... somebody should do one on de-listing. Lists are all well and good but wouldn't it be worth not making one if it meant you forgot about these meaningless items you once deemed important? Unfortunately after they're put down on paper I don't think they can ever be quite forgotten, even if I step on my principles and cross them out before they're done. Shades of ocd are emerging.
So I need to relax and de-stress and most importantly sleep. Ideas anyone!?
Then on Monday evening I got a message on the answer phone from our solicitor to say that due to a change in personal circumstance the vendor of the Montagu Square flat had withdrawn from the sale and we would be refunded our deposit forthwith. Dammit. After 6 months of to-ing and fro-ing and putting up with everything going wrong that possibly could.
Fortunately the next morning I was reassured by the agent that she had convinced the vendor (who had had an emotional reaction to an accident in the family) to wait a few days before making any irrational decisions. Of course this still might mean that the whole thing's off, but we won't know for sure until the end of this week at the earliest.
Meanwhile I'm struggling a little without Roj being around. Last time he was away, Miles was so amenable that I could just involve him in Jody's routine and he would happily go along with it. In the last 24 hours it appears he's had a stomach ache, some painful gums or some unidentified ailment which has meant that he won't be left to his own devices (by which I mean in a chair, on a bed or elsewhere) without vociferous objection. Which has meant in turn that I've achieved practically nothing today (outside of 24-hour childcare that is) and that I am now dead on my feet.
On the bright side, the last 2 nights I've got him down from 1.5-hourly feeds to 3-hourly feeds for most of the night (he lapses in the waking hours) which has meant marginally more sleep for me.
I'm still utterly frazzled though. I was even, in desperation, looking at anger management websites on Monday until an elucidating conversation with Yi Shun made me realise that it's more likely to be stress at the root of the problem; anger (or rather, a fraying temper) being more of a symptom than a cause.
Still, it's difficult to feel so out of control. I am a control freak, no doubt about it, and not being in control over every facet of my day is something I find quite disturbing. I wish I was one of those people who could relax and not worry that impromptu spitups and nappy changes and Jody emptying her toybin 30 seconds before we leave the house will make us late for nursery but I'm just not. I need to work on that.
And I need to ignore the demoralising feeling I get when reading my to-do list which contains items still undone from the conception of the list. For every one item crossed off I create 15 more. Those programs on telly about how to organise your house and de-clutter your cupboards and sterilize your environment ... somebody should do one on de-listing. Lists are all well and good but wouldn't it be worth not making one if it meant you forgot about these meaningless items you once deemed important? Unfortunately after they're put down on paper I don't think they can ever be quite forgotten, even if I step on my principles and cross them out before they're done. Shades of ocd are emerging.
So I need to relax and de-stress and most importantly sleep. Ideas anyone!?
lara : 21:55
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Sunday, September 25, 2005
Obviously I'm way behind. We got back from France yesterday after a very enjoyable 2 week break in the Dordogne. The weather was amazing. It wasn't as warm as we'd hoped so we only got 4 or 5 days out of the pool (and an unhappy screaming fit when I tried to coerce Miles into it), but it was sunny practically every day. The house was just what we needed. It was a strange mix of antique and Ikea with weird design faults that we poked fun at, but it had lots of space and was - in the main - toddler friendly. Sonia had a bit more trouble with Olivia when they came out but she's only just walking and doesn't understand simple instructions yet. I still think they enjoyed the space.
Generally speaking we spent a lot of time at the house. It's quite hard to arrange activity days when the babies sleep most of the morning and some of the toddlers sleep in the afternoon. We did a couple of trips to the nearby market town of Sarlat though, and stopped off at some trampolines on the way back (very amusing). We visited an amazing medieval castle at Beyrac which was once held by Edward the Lionheart. And we even managed a couple of restaurant lunches though our preference was for le pique-nique. A lot of French cheese was consumed on baguettes; a million pain-au-chocolat and croissants with black coffee; pâté, tartes aux fruits, a couple of delicious barbeques, grapes from the house's vinyard, and gallons of vin rouge. What more do you need?
We also did some running although we were located at the top of a very steep hill so the return trip was a bit of a challenge. I managed a bike ride on Will's bike with Jody on the back, though her feet kept falling off the supports and kicking my heels. I had a nostalgia trip for times when we were more free to do our own thing, but not for long. It was charming to see the toddlers at play together and good to be holidaying with families who understand the constraints. All in all it was in no way relaxing (Miles had sleep issues for most of the time) but very enjoyable. Even the journeys weren't too difficult (easy for me to say when Roj did the lion's share of the driving), since we took advantage of simple French travel hotels (on the way down it wasn't even manned - you paid by credit card at a kiosk and were given a code to gain entry to the hotel and your room). It was fab to be in grandad's Land Cruiser too, mainly because the extra space allowed us to pack the kitchen sink but also because the satellite navigation system was infallible.
I fell in love with France again. It's easy to do in the Dordogne out of peak season. It is the picture postcard France of imagination. The villages are warm limestone clusters nestled in dense woodland, often perched on virtiginous cliffs. They are marked by spectacular chateaux from ancient eras and cool leafy town squares. The locals are friendly and polite but adamant not to speak a word of your language. The patisseries stock gleaming fruit tarts and the smell of fresh baked bread follows you for yards. The fresh markets are overstocked with local fare: pâté de fois gras, fromages du region, cured meats, walnuts and dusty fruit and vegetables. All shops shut between 12 and 3 and on Sundays and often Mondays too. Between villages are rows of vines or trees bursting with apples, figs, pears and walnuts, and fields grazed by creamy limousin cattle and chattering geese. The Dordogne and Lot rivers curl lazily around the countryside affording opportunities for swimming or canoeing, and if swimming in the river isn't your tasse de thé, you can choose instead lakes with yellow beaches and gleaming cold waters. Cliché maybe, but stunning nevertheless.
As for the children, they had a great time. Jody loved playing with Rosie and Caitlin although all toddlers had a tendency to get over-excited at times. I had abandoned the potty-training attempt the week before we left the country, since after 6 days Jody didn't seem to be making progress and I didn't want to be one of those mums who forced the issue only to have months of struggling. However, we had a couple of breakthroughs while we were out there (poos in potties and toilets) so something certainly seems to have struck home. I won't try again now until December when Jody is 2 and a half, or later if need be.
Miles wasn't the easiest baby to holiday with. He was of course Mr Laid-back and Happy during the day but turned into Monster-feeder at night. Many nights I would be waking on a 1.5- to 2-hourly basis to feed him and attempts to have him in our bed or in a cot out of range didn't seem to make a difference. Advice from one of Pat's friends before we left - to make sure to feed him well in the day when he could be getting distracted - made small impact, but on the whole I just had to accept the fact that he is big and hungry and needs frequent feeding. I did cave to the need to start him on solids when he was exactly 5 and a half months. We've done 3 days of milky rice cereal and 2 of apple and all have been successful. He seems to have taken to the spoon very quickly and though the solids have had no impact on sleeping so far, I have high hopes that in the next couple of weeks when we up the frequency to 2 times a day, they may.
Meanwhile he has well and truly grown out of all of his 6 and 9 month clothes, so my [little] 5.5 month old is now in 12 month clothes. Before he wears an item 2 or 3 times, he's grown out of it so I am now resorting to a few carefully selected items per age-group. And generous gifts from Nanna of course!
The house fiasco continued while we were away. We have not yet got anybody to rent this flat (and are unsure of the frequency of viewings in our absence) but are not unduly concerned since the purchase of the Montagu Square flat has also annoyingly been postponed until the latter half of October. Exchange is imminent (theoretically) and at least then we can start to work out what we need to procure for a successful move (and whose babysitting services!) Though I still enjoy our little Wimpole Street flat, the contrast between a 5-bedroom villa in southern France and a 2-bed duplex in central London is a little depressing, so the move to somewhere more spacious is tantalising.
So that's the update for the last few weeks. A million things to do including long-overdue correspondence. Roj is off to the US for the whole of the next week (and will be spending much of that time in Manhattan, the sod!), though the blow will be lessened by Jody's first week back at proper nursery. Meanwhile I can't wait to see Pat's new baby girl (born on the first Monday we were away) and get unpacked and settled back into normal life. Just the move now, and then it's nearly Christmas. I know that's extreme forward-thinking but this year certainly seems to have flown.
Generally speaking we spent a lot of time at the house. It's quite hard to arrange activity days when the babies sleep most of the morning and some of the toddlers sleep in the afternoon. We did a couple of trips to the nearby market town of Sarlat though, and stopped off at some trampolines on the way back (very amusing). We visited an amazing medieval castle at Beyrac which was once held by Edward the Lionheart. And we even managed a couple of restaurant lunches though our preference was for le pique-nique. A lot of French cheese was consumed on baguettes; a million pain-au-chocolat and croissants with black coffee; pâté, tartes aux fruits, a couple of delicious barbeques, grapes from the house's vinyard, and gallons of vin rouge. What more do you need?
We also did some running although we were located at the top of a very steep hill so the return trip was a bit of a challenge. I managed a bike ride on Will's bike with Jody on the back, though her feet kept falling off the supports and kicking my heels. I had a nostalgia trip for times when we were more free to do our own thing, but not for long. It was charming to see the toddlers at play together and good to be holidaying with families who understand the constraints. All in all it was in no way relaxing (Miles had sleep issues for most of the time) but very enjoyable. Even the journeys weren't too difficult (easy for me to say when Roj did the lion's share of the driving), since we took advantage of simple French travel hotels (on the way down it wasn't even manned - you paid by credit card at a kiosk and were given a code to gain entry to the hotel and your room). It was fab to be in grandad's Land Cruiser too, mainly because the extra space allowed us to pack the kitchen sink but also because the satellite navigation system was infallible.
I fell in love with France again. It's easy to do in the Dordogne out of peak season. It is the picture postcard France of imagination. The villages are warm limestone clusters nestled in dense woodland, often perched on virtiginous cliffs. They are marked by spectacular chateaux from ancient eras and cool leafy town squares. The locals are friendly and polite but adamant not to speak a word of your language. The patisseries stock gleaming fruit tarts and the smell of fresh baked bread follows you for yards. The fresh markets are overstocked with local fare: pâté de fois gras, fromages du region, cured meats, walnuts and dusty fruit and vegetables. All shops shut between 12 and 3 and on Sundays and often Mondays too. Between villages are rows of vines or trees bursting with apples, figs, pears and walnuts, and fields grazed by creamy limousin cattle and chattering geese. The Dordogne and Lot rivers curl lazily around the countryside affording opportunities for swimming or canoeing, and if swimming in the river isn't your tasse de thé, you can choose instead lakes with yellow beaches and gleaming cold waters. Cliché maybe, but stunning nevertheless.
As for the children, they had a great time. Jody loved playing with Rosie and Caitlin although all toddlers had a tendency to get over-excited at times. I had abandoned the potty-training attempt the week before we left the country, since after 6 days Jody didn't seem to be making progress and I didn't want to be one of those mums who forced the issue only to have months of struggling. However, we had a couple of breakthroughs while we were out there (poos in potties and toilets) so something certainly seems to have struck home. I won't try again now until December when Jody is 2 and a half, or later if need be.
Miles wasn't the easiest baby to holiday with. He was of course Mr Laid-back and Happy during the day but turned into Monster-feeder at night. Many nights I would be waking on a 1.5- to 2-hourly basis to feed him and attempts to have him in our bed or in a cot out of range didn't seem to make a difference. Advice from one of Pat's friends before we left - to make sure to feed him well in the day when he could be getting distracted - made small impact, but on the whole I just had to accept the fact that he is big and hungry and needs frequent feeding. I did cave to the need to start him on solids when he was exactly 5 and a half months. We've done 3 days of milky rice cereal and 2 of apple and all have been successful. He seems to have taken to the spoon very quickly and though the solids have had no impact on sleeping so far, I have high hopes that in the next couple of weeks when we up the frequency to 2 times a day, they may.
Meanwhile he has well and truly grown out of all of his 6 and 9 month clothes, so my [little] 5.5 month old is now in 12 month clothes. Before he wears an item 2 or 3 times, he's grown out of it so I am now resorting to a few carefully selected items per age-group. And generous gifts from Nanna of course!
The house fiasco continued while we were away. We have not yet got anybody to rent this flat (and are unsure of the frequency of viewings in our absence) but are not unduly concerned since the purchase of the Montagu Square flat has also annoyingly been postponed until the latter half of October. Exchange is imminent (theoretically) and at least then we can start to work out what we need to procure for a successful move (and whose babysitting services!) Though I still enjoy our little Wimpole Street flat, the contrast between a 5-bedroom villa in southern France and a 2-bed duplex in central London is a little depressing, so the move to somewhere more spacious is tantalising.
So that's the update for the last few weeks. A million things to do including long-overdue correspondence. Roj is off to the US for the whole of the next week (and will be spending much of that time in Manhattan, the sod!), though the blow will be lessened by Jody's first week back at proper nursery. Meanwhile I can't wait to see Pat's new baby girl (born on the first Monday we were away) and get unpacked and settled back into normal life. Just the move now, and then it's nearly Christmas. I know that's extreme forward-thinking but this year certainly seems to have flown.
lara : 13:54
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Sunday, September 04, 2005
I'm so exhausted. I guess drinking Cava in the sun two days in a row hasn't helped matters. I'm way behind on seemingly everything, and only have 5 days before we go to France to sort myself out. It seems a bit of a way off, somehow.
Jody's potty training is changeable. She's obstreperous when it comes to sitting on it, but when you actually get her there, she'll usually come up with the goods. She's had a few more mini-accidents but it's the pooing in the pants that's tough to deal with. I will never complain about having to deal with a poo in a nappy again. It's so much easier when you can wrap it up and chuck it in the bin. Sigh.
Still, I think she's doing well enough to continue. She certainly gets the idea but she occasionally fails when she's distracted. We'll see how it goes this week when we're into a more normal routine - weekends are always a bit over-exciting.
Saturday we had a very nice afternoon in the residents' garden with Pat, Adam and Milo and Sophie, Cameron and Florence. The weather was lovely and despite Jody being overtired we had a very enjoyable picnic. Talked much of the imminent arrival of Milo's little brother or sister and are definitely hoping it will put in an appearance before our holiday.
Today we did almost exactly the same thing in the same place but with Sonia, Martin and their girls, which was fab. Another tasty picnic, another overdose on Cava and plenty of sunshine. September is behaving rather well so far.
Enormous congratulations to Greg and Sally on the arrival of little Harry on the 2nd. I'm so excited for them. When Miles was born I spent a few weeks being quite thankful that we'd never have to do the birth/little newborn thing again, but seeing pics of little Harry from the other side of the pond makes me all nostalgic (I know - Miles is only 5 months old)! I'll have to project my enthusiasm onto other peoples' offspring.
Jody's potty training is changeable. She's obstreperous when it comes to sitting on it, but when you actually get her there, she'll usually come up with the goods. She's had a few more mini-accidents but it's the pooing in the pants that's tough to deal with. I will never complain about having to deal with a poo in a nappy again. It's so much easier when you can wrap it up and chuck it in the bin. Sigh.
Still, I think she's doing well enough to continue. She certainly gets the idea but she occasionally fails when she's distracted. We'll see how it goes this week when we're into a more normal routine - weekends are always a bit over-exciting.
Saturday we had a very nice afternoon in the residents' garden with Pat, Adam and Milo and Sophie, Cameron and Florence. The weather was lovely and despite Jody being overtired we had a very enjoyable picnic. Talked much of the imminent arrival of Milo's little brother or sister and are definitely hoping it will put in an appearance before our holiday.
Today we did almost exactly the same thing in the same place but with Sonia, Martin and their girls, which was fab. Another tasty picnic, another overdose on Cava and plenty of sunshine. September is behaving rather well so far.
Enormous congratulations to Greg and Sally on the arrival of little Harry on the 2nd. I'm so excited for them. When Miles was born I spent a few weeks being quite thankful that we'd never have to do the birth/little newborn thing again, but seeing pics of little Harry from the other side of the pond makes me all nostalgic (I know - Miles is only 5 months old)! I'll have to project my enthusiasm onto other peoples' offspring.
lara : 19:30
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Friday, September 02, 2005
I'm on a bit of a guilt trip for having so few toys for Jody. We've got plenty but many of them are early baby toys still. She tips out the big toy basket from time to time and gets interested in something for a little while, but mostly it's not challenging enough. Then we've got a few toys stashed away from her birthday and because of viewings, like her little baby buggy and her tent. We can't have them out because they make the place a mess. We're outside a lot at the local sandpits and playgrounds, and generally she's interested only in her teddies and in real stuff like phones and brooms and laying the table, but I've still had two people over recently who've commented on the lack of toys, and whenever I go to any other mum's place there are hoardes more. Maybe there appear to be fewer because they're split between two levels, who knows?
I am intending to do a bit of purchasing when we get into our new place. I've been wanting to get her an easel for ages but that idea was put on hold while flat viewings were occurring. And I'm tempted by the big blow-up paddling pools filled with balls. She's really into caring and role-play too so I'd love to get her a dolls house or a play house, but I wouldn't want a really tacky one so it'd inevitably cost an air-sucking amount of money.
Meanwhile the big news in the last 24 hours is that she's potty training. After our failed attempt in Brittany I got quite demoralised because I'd been so convinced she was ready, but after listening to a friend recount the story of staying at home for three days to train her daughter, I realised that holiday time, when there's so much new stuff going on, is not the ideal moment. So Sonia and I were planning on a potty training play date for Jody and Caitlin next week but just as we were discussing logistics at Sonia's house yesterday, Jody had a mega 'no nappy' fight with me. So I caved and borrowed a pair of Caitlin's pants and she's been text-booking it ever since. Of course it'll be a while before she manages nights as well but so far I've been amazed at how well she's done and can't wait to continue. She's only had a couple of very minor accidents both of which she realised were happening and the rest of the time she's been to public toilets, our potty at home and squatted happily in the park with no discrimination. I am so proud! I've even been out to buy her a couple of things to reward her. It was supposed to be some more pants (big wow!) but I caved to summer stuff on sale instead, including a cute little swimsuit.
The rental viewing thing has taken off completely. I'm only glad we're away after next week for a fortnight. Today we've had three clusters of viewings and I've just about managed to get the kids back in time for a little snooze before having to whisk them out again for the next viewings. Still, there's a second viewing this afternoon so I still have high hopes of something good happening quickly. It would certainly take a load off to think we didn't have to continue at this pace for the rest of the summer.
The washing machine has broken down. So far it's just stalling mid-cycle so I still have use out of it (disastrous if I didn't) but it's just typical that it would happen just before we hand the flat over! Especially after we had to call Jim out to fix the oven only a couple of months ago. We finally have the incentive to fix the stinky drain in the bathroom though, which has never been sorted since the apalling job done by our plumbers last year. It's only an occasional problem, however chronic, so we were hoping to sell the flat and pass on the problem but our choice to rent has put spanners in that plan since it wouldn't be long before the tenants complained. Gah.
Lots planned for this weekend. Buying final things for the holiday and then a picnic with a bunch of people tomorrow and brunch with Sonia & family on Sunday. Am looking forward to a couple of lie-ins but determined also to exercise these legs of mine since I've avoided running all week on the grounds of terminal knackeredness.
Oops, it nearly escaped my memory that I have recently been out without my babes. It was Rose's surprise birthday dinner on Wednesday night up in Camden so I went for perhaps half of it and enjoyed it immensely. I only had until the milk alarm went (Roj rang me with early whimperings at 9:50pm) so I didn't get as much chance to catch up with people as I'd have liked, but it was good and relaxing and liberating all the same. I wasn't even too anxious about leaving the babes, since they were in the capable hands of Roj (and both asleep when I left) so success all round. To be repeated occasionally, even!
I am intending to do a bit of purchasing when we get into our new place. I've been wanting to get her an easel for ages but that idea was put on hold while flat viewings were occurring. And I'm tempted by the big blow-up paddling pools filled with balls. She's really into caring and role-play too so I'd love to get her a dolls house or a play house, but I wouldn't want a really tacky one so it'd inevitably cost an air-sucking amount of money.
Meanwhile the big news in the last 24 hours is that she's potty training. After our failed attempt in Brittany I got quite demoralised because I'd been so convinced she was ready, but after listening to a friend recount the story of staying at home for three days to train her daughter, I realised that holiday time, when there's so much new stuff going on, is not the ideal moment. So Sonia and I were planning on a potty training play date for Jody and Caitlin next week but just as we were discussing logistics at Sonia's house yesterday, Jody had a mega 'no nappy' fight with me. So I caved and borrowed a pair of Caitlin's pants and she's been text-booking it ever since. Of course it'll be a while before she manages nights as well but so far I've been amazed at how well she's done and can't wait to continue. She's only had a couple of very minor accidents both of which she realised were happening and the rest of the time she's been to public toilets, our potty at home and squatted happily in the park with no discrimination. I am so proud! I've even been out to buy her a couple of things to reward her. It was supposed to be some more pants (big wow!) but I caved to summer stuff on sale instead, including a cute little swimsuit.
The rental viewing thing has taken off completely. I'm only glad we're away after next week for a fortnight. Today we've had three clusters of viewings and I've just about managed to get the kids back in time for a little snooze before having to whisk them out again for the next viewings. Still, there's a second viewing this afternoon so I still have high hopes of something good happening quickly. It would certainly take a load off to think we didn't have to continue at this pace for the rest of the summer.
The washing machine has broken down. So far it's just stalling mid-cycle so I still have use out of it (disastrous if I didn't) but it's just typical that it would happen just before we hand the flat over! Especially after we had to call Jim out to fix the oven only a couple of months ago. We finally have the incentive to fix the stinky drain in the bathroom though, which has never been sorted since the apalling job done by our plumbers last year. It's only an occasional problem, however chronic, so we were hoping to sell the flat and pass on the problem but our choice to rent has put spanners in that plan since it wouldn't be long before the tenants complained. Gah.
Lots planned for this weekend. Buying final things for the holiday and then a picnic with a bunch of people tomorrow and brunch with Sonia & family on Sunday. Am looking forward to a couple of lie-ins but determined also to exercise these legs of mine since I've avoided running all week on the grounds of terminal knackeredness.
Oops, it nearly escaped my memory that I have recently been out without my babes. It was Rose's surprise birthday dinner on Wednesday night up in Camden so I went for perhaps half of it and enjoyed it immensely. I only had until the milk alarm went (Roj rang me with early whimperings at 9:50pm) so I didn't get as much chance to catch up with people as I'd have liked, but it was good and relaxing and liberating all the same. I wasn't even too anxious about leaving the babes, since they were in the capable hands of Roj (and both asleep when I left) so success all round. To be repeated occasionally, even!
lara : 22:31
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