I was mostly working on my 3rd French assessment last week, hence the blog silence. In fact the assessment was the first time in memory that I've managed to complete a piece of work before its deadline. My last date for posting was Saturday and I posted it on Friday. This is quite remarkable given my reputation for all-nighters and procrastination. Again, the submission has made me feel like a schoolgirl and knowing that this assessment counts for 35% of my final mark, rather than 15 like the prior 2, makes the butterflies flutter even more.

House news remains depressing. The whole process ground to a halt last week. While the vendor hasn't admitted that he wants to abandon us, we've received no confirmation that he's continuing either, despite the fact that the freeholder seems more willing now to furnish the deed of variation. The vendor is hardly going to burn his bridges with us, but I think the fact he's got it back on the market for well over what we can afford and has not yet approached the freeholder for the essential DOV, makes it clear to me that he's looking at alternative routes (or burying his head in the sand). Therefore we are doing the same. It's 4 weeks on Friday until we have to move out of our flat so we started to look around rentals last week (apalling and scarce) and have even revisited the possibility of purchasing the Montagu Square flat that fell through last year. This began fairly whimsically since the vendor is far from reliable, but she seems keen to let us look around on Wednesday and the agent (who is also, of course, less than reliable) feels it might be the right time for her. Having been thrown this carrot, we're suddenly revisiting the floorplans and starting to wonder whether it might be a better purchase for us anyway; it's not at the top end of our budget and although there are modifications that could take place, it's perfectly liveable as is. The biggest two draws are the fact that it looks over - and has use of - an amazing garden square, and that it has a lift (being 4th floor it's somewhat essential). Suddenly it looks very attractive indeed.

All this is assuming we get a choice. Right now we don't know which property will come off, if either, but we want to furnish ourselves with the information to be able to make a fast decision should the need arise. Our worst scenario is to be forced into rental (where we'll be committed for 6 months), but every day that passes with no progress makes that more likely. The next worst option is short-term rental which is horribly expensive and would necessitate putting all our belongings into storage. We would only consider this option if we had a definite date for completion at the point we need to move out of our present flat; it just isn't an open-ended solution. A third option - given that all this is taking place over summer or thereabouts - is that I retreat to Shropshire/Cheshire with the children and Roj stays with a colleague or in very cheap university dorm accommodation while we wait for completion on a property. Again this is no open-ended long-term solution but might buy us a month or so of extra time at little expense so is worth considering on that score. It surprises me that I'm still holding out for a firm response on one or other of these elusive flats: I may be 90% pessimist/realist but there's still 10% of me dreaming about owning a nice 3-bedroom flat on 1 June and planning on which changes to make first. Will be nothing short of a miracle at this stage though.

Outside of house news, things are very normal. The rain last week made it quite difficult to do effective child entertainment but I got Jody out on her Like-a-bike in the park (where she found the biggest muddiest puddle to fall into), and spent lots of time in damp playgrounds.

We returned yesterday from 2 days on the south coast where we visited two lots of friends, each with kids around Jody's age. Very relaxing to get out of London and be catered for; lovely to see our friends on very good form and to have Jody distracted by someone her own age. Even sharing a bedroom with her little buddy was surprisingly successful after initial bed-choosing tantrums and predictable pre-sleep chatter abated.

Unfortunately Miles spent all of last night energetically throwing up. He's been off his food the last couple of days which we've attributed to teething pain, but appears instead to have been the developing of a tummy bug. Just hoping that he can keep his last lot of milk down, also because I've now no clean towels/sheets/blankets! To be fair it is the very first time he's succumbed to this sort of bug (his speciality is the common cold) while Jody at this age had a large number of puking achievements under her belt.

In terms of kiddy progress, Jody is just growing up all the time. She talks almost like an adult with her expansive vocabulary, though she's very good about not using words unless she knows what they mean. Her favourite question is still "Why?" And she can be a little bossy madam, but on the whole she's a lot easier to deal with than she was 6 months ago.

Miles is developing quickly but is still laid-back about passing milestones. 3 of his first molars are half through including one which has a bridge of excruciating gum over the middle. This weekend gave him the chance to practice ascending and descending straighter stairs than ours, and he proved quite adept.

Still no sign of walking, though he'll cruise happily from A to B and back again. I don't imagine he'll be walking for quite some time still, since his crawling is very effectual. Still no sign either, of recognisable words, though his repertoire of sounds is bigger than I ever remember Jody's being. Roj is convinced he points at me when asked "Where's Mummy?" but I think he's just trying to boost my ego. We've seen a few brief waves, some pointing and lots of clapping, and he loves playing hide-and-seek behind a piece of cloth but that's about it. I'm not very au-fait with the milestones he should be reaching since I have other things to think about and am confident he'll get there in his own sweet time. It's amazing how different your attitude becomes between children; I'd be positively negligent if I had another!

It's nigh-on impossible now, that we'll be able to keep the end-June completion date for our purchase. Indeed it's looking highly likely that we'll have to abandon the purchase altogether. Partly this is down to our solicitor who's lost us nearly a month in what were already time-sensitive negotiations. For the last 4 weeks, 2 sets of solicitors and their respective clients have been pushing a 3rd solicitor (and his client) to furnish the 'comfort' letter which was supposed to rectify the dodgy lease clause. Yesterday we discover that our mortgage provider is not happy with the comfort letter and instead needs a deed of variation - a process which will take several weeks to complete. The fact that our solicitor has been chasing the comfort letter and naively assuming that this will be enough for the mortgage provider (who she also represents and should have confirmed with initially), while leading everybody concerned to believe that this is the case, is enough to make me want to sack her ... or shoot her ... not sure which.

The freeholder has already taken a month to deliberate over the comfort letter (and hasn't yet supplied it) so goodness knows how long it will take to negotiate the more complex deed of variation - something which he has already twice refused.

Meanwhile the vendor wants the flat back on the market immediately and has increased the price vastly. This is partly reassuring - we felt the price was over the odds in the first place - but mostly worrying because it adds another risk to the mix. The vendor has no obligation to carry through with us: They will have to continue the legal negotiations with any new buyer but if they get a new higher offer they're obviously going to ditch us and at least stand to gain a bit more cash at the other end of the legal wranglings. The only thing we have on our side is that we're able to complete 3 weeks after we get confirmation that the deed of variation will be supplied and having already been strung along for so long, they are keen to move out as soon as possible. To this end we are also discussing the possibility of renting the property from them once we have confirmation that the deed of variation will be supplied, which will enable them to move immediately, albeit that they'll have to wait for completion of the purchase for the capital in their property to be released.

So all is looking very negative indeed. If the vendor refuses the rental option, we're going to have to find another rental property ourselves, given that our concrete moving-out date is end of June. We're already discussing between ourselves the point at which we need to cut our losses and walk away and that point is worryingly close.

All very depressing and unbelievable. I didn't think it would be possible that we spend two years trying to purchase a new flat. We seem to have gone through every possible negative scenario and we can't even look back retrospectively and chuckle. The thought of being homeless 6 weeks from today is not a funny one.

Twice unnerved on Saturday. In the morning I was in a shop on Oxford Street and glanced outside to see a shocked woman telling her friend that someone had just been run over. Because I'm like 90% of the rest of the human population (ashamedly so) and can't turn away, I looked over to see a woman lying in the road on Oxford Street with crowds beginning to gather. I went back to my shopping but when I looked out 5 minutes later, a member of the public was performing CPR on the victim, and later when I left, the emergency services were just arriving. I walked right past her and saw blood on the road and the same woman still performing vigorous CRP. I've scanned the online news but can't find anything about it. I believe the pedestrian was hit by a bus - that seemed to be the murmur in the crowds anyway - in which case I don't like her chances. I may not have been able to look away but it certainly made me queasy and unsettles me even now, to think about it. Roj often states that the cars will stop (when he steps out on a pedestrian crossing, for instance), but it just makes you think that you can't depend on it. It reminds me of our vulnerability and that I must redouble my efforts to be careful on the streets, not complacent.

The second incident was later at home. We'd put Jody in bed for her nap, and I was online looking to see whether I could find anything out about the morning's accident. Roj was dozing on the sofa and Miles was wandering around the sitting room playing with his toys. I looked over a few times and got up to rescue him from the wine rack, but when I went over it was clear that he'd been sick all down his front. I didn't think much of it because he's had a grotty cold for a few days and that always used to make Jody sick, but while we were clearing up Roj found a tiny cushion from Jody's dolls' house which was covered in slime and vomit. It was obvious then that Miles had chewed on the cushion and choked on it. We chalked it down to one of those experiences that happen with kids from time to time, but it truly worried me to discover that he could have been choking with us only a few feet away. Roj wouldn't have known because he was dozing and I wouldn't have known because I didn't hear anything at all. I always thought that if your child is going to choke, you'll know about it. I expected some kind of muffled gagging noise, but there was nothing. Which makes me think of all those times that I'm getting food ready in the kitchen, or going down to the toilet and leaving the kids to their own devices, believing that they can come to no harm. Even if I can't see them I can rarely not hear them; but this incident has proved that that's just not enough. I guess I need to be thankful that nothing worse happened, but my imagination is all too vivid and I think I'll be reeling for a few days yet. The consequences of a more serious outcome are hard to ignore.

Went to our first parents' evening on Monday. It wasn't so much an opportunity to catch up on Jody's progress, as a presentation on the methods of Montessori teaching which ended up being quite interesting. It's amazing to see the way they teach kids to read and write. I thought it would be haphazard but it's very meticulous and precise and we left with some good pointers for supporting Jody's learning in exactly the right way.

We had a lovely babysitter from the agency. She was very nurturing and experienced, and not phased at all by having to put both kids to bed, though I think she was rather more lenient on Miles than I'd hoped. I was all gung-ho for requesting her next time until the next day when I discovered a box of biscuits had disappeared from my cupboard. I checked that they hadn't fallen down the back of the cupboard, and I even checked the bin for the box but they were nowhere to be found. I found this a bit baffling. Don't get me wrong - she'd have been welcome to eat every biscuit in the whole house and more, but I found it a bit weird that she'd chosen to cover it up. I know she'd rushed over (she was a bit late and flustered when she arrived) so I concluded that she hadn't had a chance to pick up any dinner, and had been so embarassed at consuming the whole pack that she decided to hide the evidence (or take it with her). But for me, the fact that she had chosen that line of approach was a bit disconcerting. When I found out what'd happened, I had to supress an urge to check other cupboards to see what else was missing. I ended up texting her light-heartedly about it, and she rang me and apologised but in retrospect I think she thought I was making a deal about her eating my biscuits. I only wish she'd realised that it was her approach that worried me, not the hunger. She was so pleasant and apologetic that I wondered if I'd over-reacted but I have to go with my gut instinct: I don't want to have to worry about whether she'd be the sort of babysitter who would cover it up if one of the kids hurt themselves while in her care. I need to be able to trust her. Which is sad cos I really liked her.

I felt like a proper grown-up parent yesterday when I took one of Jody's friends to the park with us for half an hour. I haven't been left in charge of anyone else's kids for more than a few minutes before so it was a nice lesson in how to be extra vigilant. Luckily the girl wasn't quite as fearless as Jody, and knew her limitations a bit better so I didn't have to worry about whether she'd be following Jody to the tops of the cargo-nets. Still ... watching Miles out of one eye and the two girls out of the other was a bit of a challenge. I'm sure there'll be plenty more of that in the future with sleep-overs and the like but for now, a half hour chunk is plenty for me.

As from the weekend I am now the proud owner of a Briel Versatile Due espresso machine. I've dreamt about owning a proper coffee machine for ages, but because Roj doesn't drink coffee it hasn't seemed worth it. But I caved to temptation after reading that the winner of the Which tests was about a third the price of the next best model (it was actually supposed to be a flat-warming present to myself when we moved but as everyone was out of stock of the correct model, I decided to do an advance order ... only to find out that the place I ordered from were not out of stock at all!) I've really appreciated the single-cup filter model I was given by Yi Shun last year, but having real espresso and cappuccino is a total delight. And will save me a fortune in Starbucks!

Had an absolutely fantastic French lesson with Sabine yesterday morning. It was cut down to 2 hours, but that was ample time to make good progress. Although I felt more tired than the previous week, I appeared more confident and have finally worked out a method for making the most of our sessions. Next week I'll be helping her with her CV and some other paperwork and she'll be helping me with my next Open University assignment. Not by correcting it or doing it for me, but by talking over the subject matter and helping me bounce ideas. She reckons I'd be fluent after 6 months' living in Paris. Now there's a reason to dream.

Both kids have streaming colds right now (after being unusually healthy for a whole month), which means that Miles is sleeping apallingly and I have more need than ever for aforementioned espressos (make that a triple). It doesn't help that his teeth are still aggravating him. I just hope it doesn't last too long. I'm so tired I even dozed off on the sofa yesterday afternoon just before making them dinner. I haven't done that in a year (it doesn't last long because one or other comes over and wakes me up from time to time - Jody by bouncing on my tummy and Miles by giving me a sloppy snotty kiss), but it disturbed me to find just how tired I really am. I was hoping to get a chance for r&r in the evening (while Roj was out being schmoozed) but in the end Miles didn't agree with my plans and woke for company and cuddles from about 8:30. Best laid plans huh?

Thanks to Sven for pointing out that The Sultan's Elephant was coming to London this weekend. We went to see it on Sunday and I was quite blown away by the whole magical theatrical experience. The girl was the most animated for me; amazing to watch as first she reclined dozing on her deckchair, and later performed gentle gymnastics in St. James's Park; but seeing the elephant turning the corner onto Pall Mall was certainly fantastic. Half close your eyes, and you could imagine it was real. I can't believe that Royal de Luxe managed to carry the whole thing off with such precision and panache and I'm impressed that the Arts Council allowed something so unconventional and vivid to meander through our staid old London streets. I found it truly inspirational though I wonder what Jody made of the spectacle. She didn't like the volume of music accompanying the elephant, but she was quite inquisitive about the girl. I wonder whether she thinks that seeing a 40 foot pachyderm and a 16 foot human being, each operated by teams of scarlet-clad actors, was entirely normal.

At 13 months Miles weighs in at around 13kgs. If he was in the 50th percentile, he'd be 2.5 kilos lighter and 6.5cm shorter. I've got used to the comments he receives and know that he's held up as a neighbourhood example of oversize. Somebody's got to have the biggest baby though, and I'm hardly likely to be producing shrimps am I? I love that he's big and solid and cuddly. I love that he's going to grow up chunky and athletic. And because his smile is as big, and his nature as warm as the rest of him is huge, it means he can carry it off with appeal.

This is how our bedtime conversation went with Jody on Monday night:

   MUMMY: I love you Jody
   JODY: I love you Mummy
   MUMMY: I love you more
   JODY: I love you more
   MUMMY: I love you most
   JODY: I love you best
   MUMMY & DADDY giggle
   JODY: Why are you laughing?
   DADDY: Because you won!
   JODY: I'm not one, I'm two!

Had a lovely long weekend. Thanks to Roj for being very hands-on for the duration. I haven't had much sleep but it's been relaxing to share responsiblies.

Wonderful day with Milly & Graham up in the Chilterns on Sunday. A delicious lunch and very entertaining walk through Bottom Wood followed by the realisation that I won't see them again for nearly a year as they jet off around the world at the end of May. I'm hoping she'll be diligent with travel blog updates and the odd bit of contact. Regular emails will be sorely missed.

Spent a bit of Monday at the zoo, though we need hardly have bothered since Jody was too overtired to appreciate it and we left after an hour and a half and an expensive lunch. Good job we have year passes or we would have been kicking ourselves. She had more fun stomping in the puddles and playing Daddy-catch-me in the park on the way back. We stopped off at Regent's Park tennis club on the way back for a cup of tea and a quick peek. Roj's latest scheme is that we take up tennis for entertainment. The idea has mixed appeal; last time I played tennis was in the middle of my crappy school years when I was about as coordinated as an intoxicated daddy long legs. Having now faced most of my sporting demons head on, I'm not too worried about how I'll take to it but more concerned about the logistics involved. I don't think the club will take too kindly to us introducing two budding ball-boys, particularly given that one doesn't even walk yet.

Yesterday I had a very long French lesson in the morning with Sabine. 4 hours of attempting to speak in French was hard work, and being particularly tired, I found it difficult and demoralising. I was only just warming to it by the end of the session and almost thought I was taking backward steps. I've also been a bit demoralised recently when trying to listen to French radio or read in French. Suddenly I discover that when the material isn't aimed at someone studying the language, the intricacies evade me. I can get the gist, but I become painfully aware of just how far I have to go. I know language-learning is filled with disappointments and plateaux, but it's not much fun when you hit them. All that said, I really enjoyed spending time with Sabine again and fully appreciate her efforts. I just need to get over my own petty depression.

Miles spent the weekend teething ferociously (as usual) and pulling up on everything. This morning he climbed up the bottom two stairs too, so we can no longer allow him to roam free downstairs. The sooner we get into the new place (which has the living quarters downstairs and can easily take a stair-gate), the better. No particular news on that score though. We have 2 more days to meet our ideal moving deadline (the vendors wanted the end of May, we want the full bank holiday weekend, and our purchaser needs 3 weeks' notice). Personally I believe we'll be lucky to move by the end of June (when we have to be out of our current flat), but Roj remains, against all the odds, confident.