1st Pregnancy Diary
10 June 2003
41/40 weeks (1 week overdue)
Baby weighs about 8lbs
Baby measures approx 20" (50cm) head to toe
Gah. 41 weeks. How I was hoping that I would never get this far.
I go from feeling fine to feeling thoroughly depressed about it. My logical side says that a week overdue is as common and as acceptable as a week underdue - I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if I'd have given birth on 27 May. My paranoid side worries that my body has stalled and I won't have any option but to go past 42 weeks and spend an unpleasant 24 hours in hospital under the disapproving eyes of several strange doctors and nurses during the administration of nasty drugs. My impatient control-freak side (I know that's a surprise!) is just fed up of being thrown so many spanners.
Apparently 80% of women give birth within 10 days of their due date. Which gives me until Friday. Unfortunately on Friday I'm going in for some uncomfortable labour-inducing techniques in an attempt to get this show on the road, but I'm even starting to wonder whether 4 days is enough to let those techniques take effect. At midnight on the 17th I am no longer eligible for birth in the birth centre. And that's where I want to be (not that I may care so much at that point, I suppose).
I should trust my body really shouldn't I? I mean ... it's got Little T this far hasn't it? In fact it's done pretty well the whole way through, so I've no reason to suspect that it's given up on me at the last minute. It's just teasing a little that's all.
And then there's the niggling thought that an extra couple of weeks inside add up to an extra pound of weight for the not-so-little un, which adds up to a whole lot of extra effort for me. Sigh.
Ah well. Baby can't stay inside forever. I just have to practise a bit of that patience that I notoriously haven't got.
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3 June 2003
40/40 weeks (due date)
Baby weighs about 7.5lbs (3.4kg)
Baby measures approx 19.5" (49cm) head to toe
Wow. 40 weeks. Excuse me while I take a minute to let that blow my mind!
Course there's no baby yet ... and no immediate signs of one (other than the characteristic wriggly bump I've been carrying around for a while). I suppose it really is any day now though - I mean, I now expect it to be any day now, rather than just saying it.
I'm not feeling too bad but the last 10 days has definitely seen a dive in my comfort levels. I have reached the stage with my belly where it's difficult to bend down, and it's quite difficult and heavy to do simple things like get out of furniture or turn over at night. My feet swell up quite impressively if I'm on them for too long and my lower back aches a little if I'm walking around too much (quite apart from the exhaustion factor). The worst effect remains my acute insommnia. I'm getting up between 3 and 6 times a night to go to the loo, and often find myself resisting sleep inbetween. I wouldn't say it's stress that keeps me awake, but more of a sort of excited preoccupation. When I'm lying there there's little else to think about than what is really going to happen in the next few weeks and the more I think about it the less I sleep. That's how it goes I suppose.
On the bright side, the apartment is now almost completely spring-cleaned, and we definitely have all the paraphernalia we need to survive the first few days. In physical terms, then, it's just a case of waiting.
I still have work to do - and will do until I go into labour - but it's nothing I can't handle in the short term. At least it keeps the time ticking by - I know I'd be going crazy with nothing to do.
So what's next? Well it looks like I have about a week as a window of opportunity to have this baby without any kind of intervention. However, I can choose (at my appointment today, even) to have my 'membranes stripped', which is about as painful as it sounds. Providing you're dilated to more than 1cm (I have no idea since the midwives don't do routine internal exams), the midwife will stick her finger through the hole in your cervix and separate the membranes - or bag of waters - from the cervix. This (apparently) causes prostaglandins (and often - unsurprisingly - a lot of blood) to be released, which are the key hormones in cervix dilation (the hole getting bigger) and effacement (thinning out). Sounds nice huh?
If that doesn't get labour started - and it often takes 3 or 4 attempts to have any effect - or I forgo the pleasure of membrane stripping but nothing happens, I will have to go for an ultrasound at 41.5 weeks to make sure that the baby is OK and that the placenta is still operating efficiently. The biggest risk with going post-dates is the degeneration of the placenta, which as the baby's life support system could have a serious impact. From that point I would have to have another ultrasound every half week to ensure that everything is still fine and if at any point it is not, I will have to go into hospital and be given all sorts of potent chemicals to get my labour underway. At 42 weeks I will no longer be eligibile to give birth in the birth centre, so whether labour happens naturally at that point, or I need to be induced, I will be doing it all in the hospital. Wonderful.
Between now and the discovery that the placenta is starting to degenerate there are several things - apart from the membrane stripping - alleged to get labour underway. There are a million different methods ranging from old wives' tales to those with a proven success rate, but the consensus is that nothing will really work until your body is ready to go into labour anyway. Which sort of defeats the object, don't you think? If I get to the point where I need a hospital induction, the methods are slightly more reliable but a lot more vicious, so with a couple of days to go I will swallow my scepticism with the old wives tales in the name of hospital-avoidance.
Anyhoo, all being well I won't have to enter into any of that rubbish. Little T has, after all, got a good few days in which to make an appearance, and first babies are often late (or so they tell me). Roll on the next few days, I say!
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27 May 2003
39/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs just over 7lbs (3.25kg)
Baby measures approx 19" (48cm) head to toe
Phew. Getting close now. Of course it still might be three weeks to go, but even that isn't an awfully long time, and the flip side is that it could all happen later on today! Scary thought!
I'm so ready though. Psychologically I think I'm very well prepared for labour and delivery (more chuckles from existing mums). I'm not afraid of it at all, and am looking forward to doing it. I feel like I'm in the preparation stages of an adventure race now, and just want to get it all underway as soon as possible. We'll see if it turns out to be anything like an adventure race when it happens, but I can definitely think of potential similarities.
My appointment at the birth centre last week was unremarkable. The midwife reckoned the baby isn't very big though - after prodding around for a couple of minutes she estimated about 7lbs. I'm not sure how accurate these estimates are, but it seems about right. It hasn't felt overly big the whole time, so I might be looking at a sub-8lb baby, depending on when it's born of course. The more remarkable thing is that the centre had absolutely no free appointments this week. As all 36+ week women need to come in weekly to see someone, and it was only Thursday at the time, I found this a little surprising. They just squeezed me in to this Thursday for the on-call midwife, saying that someone is bound to give birth in the week and free up some space. Hmmm.
Meanwhile even my 'hospital bag' is pretty much packed - with a list of perishable food and drink that Roj may need to grab at the last minute. All that remains now is to give the apartment a good once-over and stock up the freezer with a few pre-cooked meals. All on the agenda for this week (when work subsides a little).
Little T is eager to come out, as evidenced by sharp punches to the cervix ("is that my exit mummy?") It's still riding quite high though - although it's been head-down for weeks, it hasn't dropped down into my pelvis yet in readiness for birth. By all accounts this is most uncomfortable, so I'm not in the least bit concerned, particularly as many babies wait until labour to engage.
I haven't got a lot bigger in the last few weeks. I've steadily put on just under a pound each week (thank goodness my weight gain tailed off after about 25 weeks, or I'd be an elephant by now), and my waist still measures about 40" around (which does sound enormous but actually isn't, and has not changed for about a month). I doubt very much that I'll suddenly expand in the next week so unless I keep going for another three, it looks like I've reached my max. Thank goodness for small bumps with no stretch marks is all I can say (she says, touching wood, and wondering whether she's going to get her come-uppance in a hideously unbearable labour/delivery!)
I have enjoyed being pregnant these last few weeks though, it has to be said. After I got over the huge list of things it was preventing me from doing, and after I started to look pregnant instead of like a big fat bloater, and particularly when Little T started to kick me with real recognisable limbs, it all became quite a pleasure. There's definitely nothing like feeling your own little sprog kicking you in the ribs, and thinking about what it's going to be like when you finally get to meet it, to give you a bit of a buzz. Course it hasn't been completely scare-free, and we still have to wait until the birth to find out for sure whether everything is as it should be, but it's very hard to think of this little bean as anything less than perfect right now, and that's the way I'm going to continue to think until proven otherwise.
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20 May 2003
38/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 6.8lbs (3.1kg)
Baby measures approx 18.5" (47cm) head to toe
From today up until the 42nd week I am officially allowed to give birth at the birth center. I qualify. They refuse to handle early or late babies since they pose more risk but I am now, according to them, safely at term.
Still hoping that nothing happens for a week or more. Still plenty to do in preparation for the little un, and plenty of loose ends to tie up work-wise, but I clearly have to be open to the possibility of things happening any day now. Weird.
The NYARA Board presented me with a fantastic Kelty 3-wheeler running buggy last night at our meeting. It's pretty big and won't fit the sprog until about 6 months, but it's unbelievably lightweight and funky. What a fantastic present! Thanks guys.
Roj also bought our baby monitor in the week. Not that we'll need it on a regular basis since our apartment is so small, but it'll be useful for when we go away or if I want to take a shower or something. Just one of those have-to-have things.
All baby clothes (amazingly few of them) are now sitting nicely folded in their drawer, along with copious quantities of towels and blankets and things. It's quite nice to have that whole process out of the way and have the bedroom completely ready, even if I can't say the same for the rest of the house which still needs a thorough clean and a bit of rearranging. Am aiming to get all that out of the way this weekend so it's not too much of a rush-job, but knowing what work is like at the moment, I'll have to see.
Meanwhile all our classes are complete. The breastfeeding class on Friday was actually one of the more interesting classes, although it did drag on for quite a while. Plenty of rather amusing videos to watch including one particularly tongue-in-cheek Norwegian one which elicited a bit of a chuckle. Now that we're all learned-up, all that remains is to put these marvellous theories into practise and come out glowingly successful. Hmm.
Little T is doing what Little T is best at - moving around as much as possible; keeping me awake, making me laugh and generally reminding me of its presence. It's very cute and unlike anything else I've ever experienced, but I'm not sure I'll miss it ... I'm ready to get this show on the road really - want to meet the little thing and start the next phase of our lives. Nine months is definitely a long time to think about something and I'm now at the point where I'd like less of the thinking and more of the doing. I guess this is a good thing though. I'm not sure it means I'm psychologically prepared (is anyone ever?), but at least I'm not anxious about it. I've passed that phase of worrying about how my life is going to be turned upside-down and am more into the phase of accepting that things will be topsy turvey for a while and wanting to get on with it. Very excited really.
Oh, with time approaching fast, I seem to have no time whatsoever to work out how to do a proper poll, so I've resorted to a boring mailform, the results of which I'll post if I get any response and when I get round to it. 3 simple questions - give it a go.
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13 May 2003
37/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 6.5lbs (2.95kg)
Baby measures approx 18.5" (47cm) head to toe
Growing growing growing! Litte T is so angular now. Yesterday s/he stuck a sharp little limb out of my side and it stuck out about an inch. Can't decide whether it was a heel or an elbow but it was funny at the time. Just like Alien. Tomorrow s/he is considered full term though, so I guess it's right to see that s/he is gaining strength and taking shape.
I'm amused to hear that babies are supposed to move less after 32 weeks, cos Little T hasn't. Granted s/he doesn't do any spectacular somersaults, but s/he moves almost all the time and very energetically. It's great to feel it - I'd hate to be wondering if everything was alright in there all the time if s/he wasn't moving more than a few times a day. I can deal with the rib pain ... it's just funny!
We're nearly there with 'stuff'. We're holding back on clothes because we don't want everything we possess to be yellow, so we've got what we hope will be enough essentials for the first couple of weeks, and will undoubtedly go and stock up on pink or blue stuff later. Not sure I'll want to be dressing either a boy or girl in exclusively one colour - particularly when that colour might be pink, but it will get easier to shop when I know who I'm shopping for. Our cradle shipped at the end of last week so it should be here tomorrow or the next day, and then we'll be ready to set up the bedroom and see what else we need. Quite exciting really.
Last childbirth preparation class yesterday. It was good actually - mainly a review of all the stuff we've covered in the last 4 classes. I'd be seriously scared about having the baby in a hospital after that course though (as 3/4 of the students were), because of the stories of unnecessary medication and escalating intervention that seem to be commonplace. Much more confident about my chosen birth environment now. Will just have to hope that I can manage the pain alright (I'm not worried about that either, although existing mums will be laughing in my face right now)!
It's very strange to think that sometime in the next 5 weeks I will become a mum. It's very easy to concentrate on the process and the pregnancy and ignore what happens afterwards. Most of the time I can't wait to see Little T and make friends with him/her, see what his/her personality is like and get on with our new life. But occasionally I'll get minor qualms about just what we're letting ourselves in for and whether we'll be capable of everything we need or want to be capable of. I'm managing to keep a very open mind though (I think one of the reasons that pregnancy is so long is because it really does give you time to get your head around what will be happening to you). As far as I'm concerned my life after the birth is pretty much a void - I'm not even making any promises to myself to get back into training or run marathons by so-and-so date, because I know that if I start to make plans I'll only feel disappointed if they fall through. I'd much rather see what happens, see what I feel capable of at the time, and see what Little T brings. A little unknown, but very very exciting.
I'm into weekly checkups at the birth centre now, so I'll find out on Wednesday whether I'm Strep B positive or not, and more importantly whether my blood pressure has come down a bit now that I've cut my exercise regime down to just swimming. Reassured to see that I still have none of the other symptoms of pre-eclampsia I was told to look out for - headaches, dizziness, swelling hands and face - so hopefully I'll be in the clear. I'm seeing the doctor this time round (he works at the hospital so all patients get to see him once in case they get transferred during labour) - just when I'd started to think up some questions for the midwives too! We have our final final class on Friday evening too - an intro to breastfeeding - so it's weird to think that the next time we'll be at the birth centre together will be labour/delivery time. Yikes!!
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6 May 2003
36/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 6lbs (2.75kg)
Baby measures approx 18.1" (46cm) head to toe
Hard to believe I have a 6lb baby in here. It's getting a lot more recognisable though. We are convinced that we can feel little legs and heels now that my amniotic fluid is decreasing. Definitely lots of hard edges - forget about a nice soft round balloon belly.
It's starting to be a bit weird to think that baby is gonna be here in a month (give or take), and we don't even know if it's a girl or a boy. It seems very strange now to think that we could have found out 20 weeks ago, but decided not to. What a huge surprise it's going to be to find out.
I don't know whether I should start to be worried about the birth yet either. I seem to be being characteristically naive about the whole experience. No doubt I will go into bouts of anxiety when I feel those first contractions, but at the moment I'm just looking at it - well ... like a bit of a long and painful adventure race really! Thank goodness for my support crew is all I can say!
I have finally abandoned stairs. It was becoming much too hard to go slow enough to keep my pulse at around 150 and I certainly couldn't handle it twice a week ... which made it even more pointless. I'm now sticking to 6 sessions a week - 3 swims; 2 weights sessions followed by 30min cardio; 1 1hr cardio. That should be more than enough, and I will just work on reintroducing the stairs (gently) at sometime in the far distant future.
Meanwhile it is nearly time to create a birth poll (it isn't yet, simply because I haven't worked out how to do it) - sex, date and weight. Exciting interactive stuff huh!? Made even more exciting by my discovery today that my Laraland host (NT) has php installed. Hooray for them.
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29 April 2003
35/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 5.5lbs (2.5kg)
Baby measures approx 17.8" (45cm) head to toe
5 weeks to go and counting, and here, finally, is a belly photo (to scare you all off!)
I had a couple of nights' good sleep over the weekend, but the dreaded insommnia returned with a vengeance last night, leaving me feeling completely exhausted today. It's funny how whenever I take a nap, whatever time of day, somebody always rings. And I'm not one of those people who can sleep through a ringing phone either. Sigh. Fortunately this time it was the woman at Liz Seton calling to schedule breastfeeding and 'newborn care' classes in the next couple of weeks, so that's all sorted. Sitting in our 3rd childbirth preparation class yesterday it struck me how much learning there is to do about a process which is ultimately natural, instinctive and common as muck. And then I remembered that I'm in America.
I don't think I was gung-ho enough in yesterday's class. Roj was being a sweetie and entering into it all with fine spirit (for which I am actually eternally grateful), but Mrs Sceptic sits at the side trying to avoid any kind of physical demonstration whatsoever. We were supposed to be practising labour positions last night but I felt more inclined to sit there and have my back massaged. I'm useless! Nevertheless the woman next to me did laughingly point out that my husband was clearly going to have me in stitches (no pun intended) throughout the whole of my labour, being the complete mischief-maker that he is. And I agreed, gratefully. Picked up various tips about useful objects to increase comfort during labour and watched another gory (although this time less so) video featuring more 70s haircuts, but otherwise can't say I actually learnt much. I suppose this is due to the fact that I seem to have read every book, magazine, website and discussion group on the subject so there is little left to surprise me. Theoretically that is.
Have compiled a list of the remaining products we need to acquire to have my 'hospital bag' ready to go. It may seem premature to be preparing this at 5 weeks to go, but judging from the complete unpredictability of timing, I'll say it's definitely better to be safe than sorry. This approach has not yet leant itself to getting out any of the baby clothes and washing them in advance though, so I can't call myself all that prepared. Fortunately we seem to be looking at another weekend with not much planned so maybe we can make a conscious effort to do it then. And maybe we'll just spend the whole weekend in the cinema again!
Nothing much has changed as far as Little T is concerned. S/he is still happy kicking and hiccuping away on a regular basis. The size of the bump is making it a little awkward to do up shoe laces, and I still get horribly out of breath if I attempt to do anything approaching strenuous, but I'm happy on the whole. Although getting gradually bigger, the bump is still a manageable size, and I don't envy the women out there who are already twice my size and waddling with a couple of months still to go.
We have also finally settled on two girls names and three boys names to select from when we're face to face. It's been a bit of a struggle with the boys names, but I'm actually happy with all three of them. We've gone for 'not too unusual, but not on the top-10 lists' names, so that kiddo will have the benefit of not having to be known by its surname in any schoolroom, but also not having to spell out its name on every occasion. Beyond that there is little significance in any of the first names (although there will be family names in the middle).
Oh, and I booked our pediatrician last week. I can't believe that the majority of mums go and interview the doc before the birth to check him/her out. The guy is only going to hold a stethoscope to the chest and wriggle its limbs about a bit. Who cares!? Again, I think this over-education is another particularly American trait and one I am happy enough (and lazy enough) not to adopt. Doc has a certificate in pediatrics? Ok - he'll do.
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22 April 2003
34/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 5lbs (2.28kg)
Baby measures approx 17.4" (44cm) head to toe
Well. Baby has assumed the head-down position. That's not to say it will not turn between now and D-Day, but I know that it's been in this position for a while now, and it becomes a lot harder for it to move around so dramatically, so here's hoping!
Even one of the midwives at the centre today couldn't believe that I was 34 weeks. When I asked for a timetable for classes she said 'oh I don't think she's there yet' and asked me how far along I was. She had to bite her tongue when I told her - she obviously thought I was nearer 24 than 34. Hmm.
Despite this, I have been suspecting that Little T has been going through a bit of a growth spurt this last couple of weeks as this would account for the slight decrease in activity, and the fact that my belly has really seemed more stretched to its limit then before. Proof was in the measuring today - 33cm at 34 weeks which is only 1cm small for dates, rather than the 2 I was at my last appointment. It also seems that I have only gained 1 lb in the last two weeks which is nice, as it may (I mean may) mean that I come under the 25-35lb recommended total gain during pregnancy. The top end of that, of course!
Shopping was somewhat successful at the weekend. We accumulated a few cute little items of clothing (which are sadly remaining wrapped until the last minute), a Graco infant car seat, some functional things like nappies, first-aid kits and assorted other alien gadgets, and a good idea of what we still need to get - lots! We had a bit of fun zapping some of the more appealing items for the baby shower that Roj's office are throwing him (/us) ... I've always wanted to go round a shop scanning bar-codes although at the rate my freelance is progressing, I probably will be before long ... at Walmart.
What is apalling is the rigidity with which shops present the pink/blue concept. God forbid that you would want to dress your little girl in blue - she must be strictly garbed in various sickly shades of pink ... stretching to a pretty shade of pastel purple if you're feeling outrageous. Even reds and greens are predominantly boyish, and yellow adorned with rather too many frills and flowers to be anything other than girlish. It strikes me that boys get the better end of this deal.
We had our second preparation class on Monday. It was mostly sitting on mats and practising breathing and visualisation techniques. We were put through the renowned excrutiation of holding an icecube to simulate a contraction (!) and practised various ways of taking our minds off the pain. Actually, despite my scepticism it was really quite good - I was sincerely amazed at how easy it is to distract oneself. We also had the dubious pleasure of watching a very graphic birth video featuring three different birth experiences. They may have been different, but there was clearly a common thread. I'll leave it at that.
I am still feeling fine and trying to exercise 5 to 6 times a week. No strange cravings, no mood swings, no hideous aches and pains. I attribute this mainly to the bump being a reasonable size, and me being just plain lucky. I am, nevertheless, suffering from acute insomnia. I can get to sleep in the first place, but invariably wake up a couple of hours later and then continue to wake up every time I hear a noise or need to turn over or just every ten minutes regardless. Which means that I'm usually more exhausted in the morning than I was the previous evening, and am obliged to take a nap during the day. A geriatric habit but a necessary one, I assure you.
Otherwise it's just heartburn (but the papaya enzymes are working their magic) and that's it. I don't even have any questions for the midwives at my appointments, which tangibly disappoints them. Clearly most women bombard them with all sorts of trivia on which they can test their expertise.
Must register with a pediatrician.
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15 April 2003
33/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 4.4lbs (2kg)
Baby measures approx 17" (43cm) head to toe
Hmmm. It's funny. Last week I felt that D-Day was just around the corner, but now 7 weeks seems like a long time to go. I think it's because that time isn't broken up by anything - we haven't got many plans between now and then - so all I'm doing is looking ahead to the big day. I'm sure it'll come pretty quickly though.
Had our first 'childbirth preparation' class yesterday. Apart from sitting in uncomfortable chairs for 3 hours it was actually quite good. Didn't really learn much (other than that papaya enzymes are good for heartburn), but it was reassuring to discover that the childbirth centre supports the exercise technique I learnt about earlier in the year (the fat girls exercise class) and that my bump is still smallish compared to other people at the same stage. You must understand that this is novel for me - I don't usually have the smallest of anything! (And I remain happy as long as the smallness of the bump is not symptomatic of something being wrong, which it isn't).
The baby's movements are definitely lessening in scale now as it gets cramped for space inside me. It still moves around on a regular basis and sometimes it can really prod hard, but it's no longer doing somersaults. I guess pretty soon it's going to be assuming head-down position (or at least I hope it does!) and dropping down a bit ... although it might still hold off on both of those for several weeks. It also has hiccups every other day or so (like now - as I write this!)
Had a bit of a disappointing shopping experience today. It's 80 degrees outside so I wanted to head off to see if I could find some unisex summer stuff to make a start with. Tried Baby Gap, Old Navy and the huge department in Macy's and didn't really see anything worth buying at all. Even yellow and green is made boyish or girlish - there are so few items that could be either - and I refuse to buy navy blue or grey. I was also specifically looking for t-shirts rather than onesies so that the baby can wear those until its umbilical stump falls off, but there weren't any at all. Abandoned once I started to feel hungry (managed to swing past Pret a Manger), and decided to leave it all to the weekend when I have an extra pair of eyes and hands to help me out. Got offered a seat on the subway for the second time though - again by a girl.
Am meeting up with Jennifer from the fat girls class at the gym tonight for the first time in 4 weeks, so it'll be interesting to see how she's doing. Am also right back into swimming after the UK trip, although my swimsuit is already on the small side and I am going through a phase of extreme exhaustion which doesn't help. On top of which I left my pulse meter watch with someone at the race at the weekend and it looks like it may not be returned to me in the near future. Will have to steal Roj's.
So not much pregnancy news for this week - I guess little T is getting bigger and bigger, as am I - but otherwise it's just the same as for the last few weeks. The magazines or books relating to my stage are now starting to talk about labour and delivery rather than foetal development so I guess that's what I should be thinking about next ... joy!
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8 April 2003
32/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs nearly 4lbs (1.8kg)
Baby measures approx 16.5" (42cm) head to toe
It's getting close. 8 weeks to go. I'm amazed at just how many people whinge about how long pregnancy is and how sick of it they are at the end, when I feel like it's flown by. Of course I may change my mind and start whingeing like a trooper in the next 8 weeks, but I feel like there's so much to do now that I really won't have time to reflect on it.
Had another appointment on Monday and my gestational diabetes and anaemia tests came back negative as expected. I think the only test I have left is one for Group B Strep which they do at about 36/37 weeks by way of some rather unsavoury swabs. Seems that Group B Strep is quite commonly carried in women though, and while it doesn't cause any harm to us, it can cause serious problems in newborn babies so I guess I'll just have to close my eyes and think of England or something.
Little T is still being so active it's unbelievable. And what's all this about babies sleeping on planes? This one didn't!! In both transatlantic directions it bounced around and kicked and somersaulted as if I was a trampoline. I think it's something to do with me being reclined and on my back ... baby obviously gets a little over-excited at all the space when it's not scrunched up under my ribcage! It's good though - to feel that it's moving so much. It never ceases to amuse me and Roj gets all exasperated that I keep giggling when he's trying to feel the kicks. It's the most delightful part of being pregnant in my opinion, and very much helps to remind you that there's a real living being in there, rather than a whole heap of fat!
It also amazes me how much force goes into those movements sometimes. While it doesn't really hurt per se, it can be quite aggressive and make me flinch from time to time - the same sort of feeling as if someone gives you a horsebite on your knee - how can such a little thing be so powerful already? And how much more powerful could it be if it wasn't going to have to scale back its movements for the ever more constrictive confines of my uterus!?
In terms of gear, we're definitely moving up in the world. Our Maclaren Global buggy arrived while we were in Blighty so we've got it all set up and ready in the sitting room. It looks a bit sparse and uncomfortable for a newborn really, but I suppose a lot of the time in the early days we'll be wheeling it around in the car seat attached to the buggy, rather than directly in the seat. Either that or the Baby Bjorn carrier that Peta & Sascha kindly donated to us along with a snuggly sleeping bag thing, a couple of books and the famed backpack stroller.
We've also been given a few onesies by my mum so the baby might have a hope of not being totally nude on arrival ... or shortly after arrival anyway!! Oh, and I also took advantage of Marks and Sparks to buy my first nursing bra - what a wonderful experience that was!! Couldn't supress a chuckle while I was trying it on, and for all I know it'll be completely the wrong size when my boobs become milk bottles, but it had to be done, considering the lamentable excuses for underwear you have to fork out for in the US.
Tried to swap birth locations from Elizabeth Seton to the birth centre in St Luke's Roosevelt yesterday but failed miserably since the midwives at St Luke's won't take on new patients after 30 weeks. I don't mind too much - I was only changing because St Luke's is only a block away - and the rooms at Elizabeth Seton are still substantially better. I have a sneaky suspicion that Roj was a little more miffed about it than I was because he was reassured by the presence of the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) in St Luke's hospital just a floor away rather than a block away as it is at Elizabeth Seton - but I don't really see it as an issue. The transfer can be very quick if needs be, and the people at Liz Seton are more than qualified to provide me with the support I need. It'll just necessitate the use of a crappy ol' limo to get me back home after I've done the deed ... rather than hobbling the single block back to the building. I can cope!
So I think it's high time I start to make a list of the things I'm gonna need to buy in the next few weeks. I've got the essentials down thanks to valuable advice from various people in the know ... but something tells me I've got a long way to go before I can actually call myself prepared.
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25 March 2003
30/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 3lbs (1.35kg)
Baby measures approx 15" (38cm) head to toe
Woohoo. Only 10 weeks to go. Course that could be anywhere from 8 to 12 (or even less than 8), but I'm sticking with 10 as the aim.
And now I really look pregnant. Funny how in the last three weeks I've gone from hardly showing to looking quite big and unwieldy. I almost seem to be growing every day now, and definitely can't get away with not looking pregnant unless I wear enormous fleeces.
Meeting the actual result of all this is finally starting to feel like a reality. Part of me is very excited about it, but I'm also a bit intimidated. Less about coping from day to day; more about the vast impact it will have on our lives in the long run. I think this will be an easier concept to deal with once it actually happens though so I'm not going to get overly concerned now. A much bigger worry is whether Little T will be 100% healthy. No-one can guarantee that sort of thing to anyone at any time, but however much anybody and everybody says "of course it'll be healthy," you don't know and don't want to assume anything. You just hope.
Meanwhile am looking forward to a brief stay in the UK at the end of this week, along with some inevitable prodding. By the time we come back I'll be nearly 32 weeks - high time we start stocking up on some baby gear. I'm sure it'll be interesting for people to see what I actually look like, rather than hearing me blabber on about it for so long!
In fact we invested in our first baby item yesterday, by ordering the Maclaren Global buggy. It's completely overpriced, but is exactly what we're looking for - lightweight, infinitely foldable, tall-friendly. We could have settled for the inherent faults of a Graco for half the price, but seemingly we can't shake the gear snobbery even now!
It was really funny meeting Colette and Ted on Sunday. Strange to hear from someone whose pregnancy seems to be progressing in a way almost identical to mine - similar symptoms, similar areas of weight gain - that sort of thing. It'll be good fun to watch how we both progress and see if the similarities continue for the 2 English Mums in New York (well - 2 half-Danish mums actually!)
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18 March 2003
29/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 2.7lbs
Baby measures approx 14.5" (37cm) head to toe
I am definitely getting bigger ... and bigger ... and bigger!! Went out for the first time on Sunday without a jacket (thanks to amazing NY weather) so the bump was well and truly on show. Didn't get anyone staring though, so still mildly suspect that I'm in that transitional 'is she, isn't she?' phase. Roj says my belly sticks out further than my boobs now though (which is quite a feat!), so it's more obvious.
Little T wriggles absolutely all the time except when Roj puts his hand on my belly. It was quite fun to lie in the bath (a rare pampering moment) and watch the distortion of my belly as it flung itself around in there. Bizarrely when it drags itself along against the inside of my belly it can often tickle enough to make me flinch (which stops it in its tracks!). Still don't know how some people can recognise which body part is doing the pushing though - other than knowing that the feet must be in the place where the majority of kicking is happening, it's all pretty mysterious. Those people must be psychic or extremely thin.
Took the famed 1-hour glucose test yesterday to see if I have gestational diabetes. Just involves ingestion of an overly-sickly fizzy lemonade thing, waiting for an hour then getting a needle stuck in the arm. Should get the results in a couple of days, but I'm not even slightly worried. Suspect that my iron count might be a bit low but I'll just get some boring old vits for that. Beats shoving a needle into yourself four times a day.
After the bad news about the separating diastasis from last week's exercise session, I've been diligently doing my little stomach exercises every day. Not sure it's helping (I have to wonder what happens at the sides of the 6-pack muscles if the middle stays together), since I've occasionally seen a bit of a weird ridge where my innards are pushing up through the gap (if I accidentally do a situp or something), but damage limitation is the name of the game, and I certainly feel virtuous doing them.
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11 March 2003
28/40 weeks (3rd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 2.4lbs
Baby measures approx 13.75" (35cm) head to toe
Nothing much has happened this week. I'm sort of in that borderline area where I look pregnant, but not so much that people might mention it - in case they get slapped round the face! I have definitely increased in size though. Took some photos yesterday (trying to take one a week now, until 40 weeks is up) and compared them with some taken a month ago. There is a definite difference. I haven't put on any weight for about 3 weeks now - but I suppose it's just redistribution since I'm not eating any less, and my bump is getting bigger. It doesn't concern me either way, since I've already put on plenty of weight for my stage.
Am feeling well though. The baby is moving more and more each day. Although it seems to be mostly in a head-up position (kicking me quite low down), it occasionally turns around and kicks my ribs, which is most uncomfortable. I have to be sure not to slouch (for the first time in my life)! Last night we played it some music (which we've been doing regularly for the last couple of months or so) and it was extremely responsive - dancing around like a crazy thing. Lets hope it has more of an ear for music than either of us!
Apparently if I shine a torch on my belly, the baby will now turn its head towards the light source, because its eyes are now open. Haven't tried this yet but will do soon. Sounds weird. Also the grooves on its brain are developing, and if it was born now it is considered viable and would have to be registered. Which makes me wonder what would have happened if it was born last week - hmmm.
Now I'm in the third trimester, a pre-term birth would no longer be seen as a miscarriage, as it is in T1 and 2, but as a premature birth. But here's hoping I make it to 40 weeks - the complications associated with premature babies are just too big to even contemplate.
Still exercising well, although the stairs have been relegated to once a week, mostly because I can't face a 6am wake-up call any more (sleep is too vital). I don't really want to do them later on since there's plenty of evidence to support the fact that the lower 10 flights is the fag-break area of choice for the offices on those floors. Don't want to contend with either cigarette smoke or baffled looks and comments from office workers at that time in the morning so am sticking to just the Sunday session. Went to the gym with Jennifer yesterday though, and tried the eliptical thing for the first time (bikes were all full) - it was really quite good fun (speaketh the anti-gym-machine-woman!). Hooray - an acceptable alternative!!
My fat-girls exercise class finished on Monday. A focus of the classes has been to strengthen the transverse abdominal muscles which run like a belt underneath the 6-pack abs and the obliques. During pregnancy, the 6-pack abs have a tendency to pull apart down the middle (creating what's called a diastasis - which is just a fancy word for muscle separation). Exercising the transverse is supposed to prevent this separation which can cause weakening of your abdominal area and severe back pain (since the abdominals support the back). Unfortunately the gap between my 6-pack muscles went from 0.5 of a finger to 2.5 fingers (is a 'finger' a recognised unit of measurement I wonder?!) in the 8 weeks since the first class. Damn - looks like I've been caught out on the transverse thing - might actually have to start doing the 500-a-day prescribed by bossy Debi the mental maternal fitness instructor!
Next education classes are the childbirth preparation classes which start on 7 April. Now that should be fun!
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4 March 2003
27/40 weeks (2nd trimester)
Baby weighs approx 2.2lbs
Baby measures approx 13.3" (34cm) head to toe
I weigh a ton ;)
Roj and I have always known we wanted to be relatively young parents. I think I've always kept '30' as a hazy milestone, even though as I went from 24 to 25 to 26, that milestone became uncomfortably close and unfeasible - scary, even.
But somehow when our discussions turned to family, and after much thought and indecision, Roj & I decided that 2003, after all, might be a good year in which to start.
It seems quite at odds with our lifestyle to take this enormous step towards responsibility - we, who have enjoyed our adventure sports, expensive adrenalin-making holidays and free-to-do-as-we-choose lifestyles for the last many years. But at the back of our minds has always been the notion that though we could continue on this [self-indulgent] route quite happily for the next decade or two, we are well aware that at the end of that time we would turn back with regrets.
Neither do we want to be hobbling around aged 60+ with a vast generation gap, trying to encourage our kids to be active. We want to be involved. We want to be able to do that stuff with them.
So, to cut out all the obvious details, we took the plunge in 2002, and by early October were pleased but intensely shocked to first see that inimitable thin pink line.
(And for all those of you following my adventure racing career, yes I was already pregnant, but blissfully unaware of it, when we did the E-fix on 27-29 September).
What's it like?
Time goes slowly. From day to day nothing really changes - you might feel a bit more movement, you might look a bit bigger, but you really have to take an extended view in order to see what's happening. For a while I hoped that I'd be one of those slim gorgeous mums who put on 25lbs and it's all tum, but my genes are in the wrong place and I have very happily put on nearly that much already ... very little of which is on the bump! On the plus side, being 6' tall means that these multitudinous pounds of lard don't show as much as they might, and my bump resembles more of a 5 month bump than a 6+ month bump. Don't ask me why I think this is good ... apart from that it's less restrictive than it might be.
I'm enjoying it, on the whole. I was lucky enough to escape any stage of chronic puking in the first trimester, although nausea wasn't entirely off the scene (my morning sickness resembled a bad tequila hangover so much that I sometimes wondered if I was being told something!). I'm obsessing about the weight a little, but not nearly as much as I sound like I am. In fact I'm rather proud of my very alien body as it gets bigger and more rounded. I'm also accepting the restrictions that pregnancy is inflicting much better than a month-or-so ago. I'm realising that sleep comes near the top of my priority list, and that I have to accept the level of exercise/training that I can cope with. Since I'm not training for a marathon (not of the conventional kind anyway), I don't need to anaerobically train myself into my deathbed every day. Quite enjoying the change actually, especially now that I've incorporated swimming into my weekly routine.
I'm being healthier than usual in terms of food. I thought cutting out alcohol and caffeine would be a real issue, but it's not in the least. The first couple of months without my daily black-coffee wake-up call were the hardest, but once you get out of a routine, you don't really miss it. And I'm not being totally clinical about it - once in a while I'll have a glass of wine and a cuppa tea or a diet coke. I don't want our baby growing up to be as pedantic as I am, so I may as well start early!
My only gripes are chronic heartburn (get your head out of my stomach!), and useless insommnia (even worse than usual!). Luckily I can solve the latter with small naps in the daytime (there has to be some perk to working freelance) and the former with mountains of Rolaids.
All sounds fantastic doesn't it? Although I must say that all has not gone perfectly, and wonder whether any pregnancy ever does. In fact learning of certain unknown factors just focuses your mind on what's important - those old clichés good health and happiness - rather than what colour stoller you want to buy. It's worrying of course, because you always hope for a perfect baby. But then you have to wonder whether there is such a thing. The whole process - though now deeply scrutinised at every turn - is still so hit-and-miss.
The facts
- No - we're not finding out the sex. 3 reasons really - firstly we don't want to make a mistake (there is only a certain degree of accuracy), secondly we want to allow the baby to forge its own identity when it's born, rather than forcing one upon it while it's curled up inside me, and thirdly we want the surprise and anticipation of not knowing. It brings something magical back to what is otherwise quite a medical, clinical process. (It's tough though - knowing you can know, but choosing not to).
- Little T is due on June 3. Although obviously the inexact science of due-date prediction means he/she could be born any time before and up to 2 weeks after that date, making it particularly difficult for my parents to choose a time to fly out.
- We have 2 girls names picked out, but no boys names as yet (we're working on it!). We're intending to have 2 for each sex so that we can then decide our preference after the birth. And no, we're not telling anyone the names in advance due to the 'I know a friend who called their dog that' thing which Peta (amongst others) has warned us about.
- Little T will be born in the US and therefore be the proud possessor of dual-citizenship, although we still have to look into this.
- Being a hospital scaredy-cat, I am opting for a natural birth environment at a place called Elizabeth Seton in Chelsea. Around 6 or 7 midwives work there, any of whom might be on call for your labour and birth, but all of whom you'll have met several times during your pregnancy. Your options in a midwives centre far exceed those in most hospitals - you can walk around and change positions to encourage and ease labour rather than staying in one [inefficient] position on the bed; you can eat and drink the calories required for an often 18-24hour marathon rather than being allowed a juice once in a while; you can control many aspects of the labour environment - bring candles, CDs, whomever you choose and make full use of the in-room spa bath; you are not rushed, induced, or pressured into being part of a busy maternity schedule; you will not have a plethora of unknown nurses and doctors assessing you at every stage; you will have no need to squint into strip lighting; the environment is managed totally to be conducive to the maximum possible relaxation. The drawback? Little or no (medical) pain-relief is available. However, the nearest hospital is only half a block away if an emergency arises during labour or birth so there is no issue there. Many of you may think I'm barking up completely the wrong tree with this approach, but frankly I'm aware of the importance of relaxation and comfort during what is essentially a painful but very natural process. This is the way I want to do it, and although I'm not waltzing in there going 'I refuse to have an epidural even if I'm screaming in agony after 48 hours of labour', I am confident that this approach is right for me. Ahem ... and I'll let you know how it goes!! ;)
So where are the photos?
Not quite at that mental stage yet - you'll have to live with the pic of Little T resembling a chicken aged 11.5 weeks that links to this page. I have other ulrasound pics, but no scanner with which to digitise them, and I'm not quite at the stage where I want to post mammoth amounts of photos of my ever-increasing-waistline for all the world to see. Rest assured though, that I reserve the right to change my mind on this - and any other - point!
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